Today, some friends and I went to Cosmic Bowling where they have a blacklight. Everyone's teeth were glowing. Mine weren't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML
Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML
Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
Today, I went to a neon-themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
Today, I went to a concert. Knowing these concerts usually include a lot of black lights, I decided to wear a black T-shirt so I wouldn't glow. I was having a good time, but about halfway through I noticed someone pointing to my shoulder. I looked down to see my dandruff glowing. FML
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML
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Top comments
PickYourPoison 0
It means all your friends use whitening strips.
perdix 31
It's because your mouth is a Black Hole.
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Comments (123)
xApril 0
there are people starving and dying of AIDS but **** YOUR life?
FuzzyWalnuts 0
That's definitely a ydi. Ever heard of oral hygene??
WeeHutchie 0
You, sir, win.
srak 0
brush your damn teeth then
FoundManyLemons 0
"All my friends have veneers and I don't! FML"
phatdaddy 0
It's because they were actually all pod people. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your friends are all dead, and you may want to leave town before they get you, too.
weqg 0
Try brushing you freak. THERE, Problem solved!
dragonflygal 0
nowhere near as bad as the pregnant woman who drove 600 miles only to meet her boyfriend's wife and kids...
SliceOfVanilla 0
Zezing 0
STFU twinklecunt and go brush your teeth
Twinklestar 0
Make me
phatdaddy 0
You go girl! Don't take no shit! If he tries it again, breathe on him with yo stank ass breath!!!