Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
Today, I found out my husband is a cuck. After explaining that I'm not exactly satisfied in the bedroom, we were thinking of ideas to spice things up. I suggested buying a few toys he could use on me. He immediately got mad, because he wanted me to find other men to screw instead. FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML
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Top comments
Xatraris 38
That's the thing about communication. May be a fantasy of hers. However, it's not for you. Let her know and keep looking for something else. Also don't make her feel bad about being into something like that. Yes its taboo, but some people like it. Making someone feel bad about expressing something new can make them keep to themselves. Good luck
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well, if you're adamant that you're not gonna let her stick it in your ass, you could see if she's up for having both ends all to herself while you control it.
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Comments (20)
BloodyButUnbowed 32
Perhaps that was her way of explaining why she doesn't want things shoved up <i>her</i> butthole, either.
Amazingtoke07 9
using a ***** on yourself as a guy or with a female partner does not mean anything, if it did, it would mean you aren't a closed minded fuckhead. Enjoy your wife, many men would love a women that open!
EmDizzle2007 28
people don't post FMLs looking for advice, but that don't stop people from gettin' their Joyce Brothers on.
Huldan MeGroyn 13
What, you don't celebrate Women's Day?
TheSminty1 17
You wanted spice? You got the whole rack.
RinoaHeartilly 36
How many things has she tried for you that she wasn't fully into? Maybe think about that before you shut her down.
BeefyQueefy 14
I bet $100 you've asked her for anal in the past but wont get buggered yourself. Typical man!!
Felice Godin 19
i guess she thought she needed to spice it up
pins91 27
The G spot for a man, is near his prostate. It sounds scary, but apparently it feels really good.
wrenavery90 12
Good grief. Don't tell us, tell her. You need to communicate about sex. No one should be pressured to do anything they don't want to.