Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband took our 5-month-old to the doctor, who diagnosed him with a severe sinus blockage and referred us to a specialist. This is the third major health problem with our son that our husband has picked up before I did. My job? I’m a nurse in a paediatric clinic. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML
Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML
Today, I picked my son up from school, and asked how his day went. He told me how his friend explained to him that his mommy snorts sugar with his uncle, and if he could try what his friend's mom calls "Booger sugar" when we got home. FML
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Top comments
letitbe56 0
How old is this son? Always include an age--I was picturing him as 12 or so until the last line when I realized this is probably preschool. And why was the teacher the first to notice that he had been complaining for months about headaches?
metakingt 0
So your son won the "who can shove a peanut the farthest up their nose" game?
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Comments (90)
misspeg 0
well it isn't an FML really but it still is something interesting that happened in OP's day. what, the son wasn't going to post the FML himself. get what I mean...
Vacant 7
When I was younger I crammed a pistachio up my nose pretending to be an elephant, but that just ended in several family members holding me down, a broken nose, and a pair of tweezers. Wonderful childhood memories coming back to me.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Ouch.
lolwatlol 0
So.....? He died?
Koosti 0
And? This effects the quality of your life how exactly?
perdix 31
Which one was it, Charlie Brown or Linus? It hardly matters because when it came out, it was probably Pig Pen. If he still has trouble, run more tests. Peppermint Pattie and Marcie are up in there doing the Velcro Shuffle.
Witchcraft_fml 5
What was really concerning was Woodstock flying out of the kid's ear.
perdix 31
Or Snoopy snooping around the kid's pooper?
Witchcraft_fml 5
If Snoopy snooped around the kid's pooper, I wonder if the troupe that's also snooping around his pooper would dupe Snoopy into drinking the loopy soup until he droops?
perdix 31
WIN. Witchcraft! You have a way with words! ;) Two thumbs up!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Thank you, Perdix! *curtsy* :] I have been inspired by the wordmaster, after all! ;]
alwaysalady 0
Dont feel too bad. My son swallowed a penny yesterday. And my husband, and his sister both shoved beans up thier noses. My brother stuck a hot wheels wheel up his nose. And when I was about four I ate one of my grandfather's heart pills. Kids do that kind of stuff all the time. Wait til he drives his bike off the garage roof, or colors his sister with permanat marker.
ha3lo 0
your family shouldn't be allowed to procreate anymore.
repyourcliche 0
^ lol saying that, my sister once ate a doll so... perhaps the same could be said to me
movies12 0
I don't see how this is a FML! What cause u had to wait 20 minutes??
MiniatureMayhem 0
Your son's teacher noticed before you did? FHL, because he has such a crappy parent.
shoeofallcosmos 0
Ugh, I hate kids, especially stupid ones.
LifeInTheShadows 0
Err... Define stupid. Because if you're talking about little children doing stupid things such as the one in this FML, then it's just a part of psychological human development. The kid's brain just hasn't evolved yet, it doesn't determine whether the kid is stupid or smart, because the kid can't just make his/her brain develop faster. It's not their fault. They get smarter with age.
ediciusNJ 0
Ditto. There's a difference between being inquisitive and being stupid. This kid is stupid. It's like George Carlin said, "It's passive eugenics! The kid who swallows the most marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own!" Substitute a peanut for marbles in this case and voila, you still have a very dumb kid.
shoeofallcosmos 0
I'm sorry for being a dick with my original comment...
xenomorph 0
I read a story about this happening with a crayon, only that the crayon began to dissolve and block pores, so things were much worse.
chottu 16
The moment you said crayon I thought Homer Simpson xD