Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
Today, my son's plan is to become an entrepreneur, even though this requires having a brilliant idea worth money. This is the same guy who got fired from Subway for deliberately dropping bread on the floor so he could steal it from the bin later. I'm gonna kick him in the asscrack before the month is over, I know it. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML
Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML
Today, I asked my son what his goals in life are. He said he doesn’t have any career goals, and the only thing he wants out of life is to play Dungeons and Dragons. I have failed as a parent. FML
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
Today, when my son told me he wanted to work with animals, I thought he meant a vet, turns out his actual career goal was to be the guy who puts the strays to sleep at the animal control centre. He got that job and I’ve never seen him happier. What monster have I raised? FML
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Top comments
nerdsgetmehot 23
Maybe he wants to be a chef. No harm in that...
badbe 0
What's wrong with that?
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Comments (134)
badbe 0
What's wrong with that?
xFalzz 0
Its bad because Mr. Krabs doesn't pay well.
DudeImBetter 0
mr "krabs" who lives in "bikini bottom" with "sandy cheeks" doesn't pay well. spongebob is actually a really funny tv show. also spongebobeeshia the number 18 most ghetto name is also funny.
DudeImBetter 0
the best one is fri'chickenisha
RileyFerrari 0
YDI for raising... that.
ubytch2much 3
you are 16... you just don't get it. "fry cook" is not a career.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
big deal! my hero is captain planet, and when i grow up i want to fight with the planeteers against all those eco vilians!
PointAndLaugh 0
Captain Planet? My hero is Luigi. When I grow up, I'm gonna kill evil turtles for a living, and eat shrooms all day. Top that.
restythestar 0
yeah, fry cook.... under the sea! That's beyond awesome.
boyguydudemalema 0
#14 looks like justin beiber, just saying. my hero's arthur currie
SadinSherman 16
Just the hair not the face
PizzaGuy11 0
my hero is chuck norris did you hear that he played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won?
l0ka_09 0
i believe he looks more like Shane from the tv show Weeds :)
lexi365 20
spongebob's fml-today, i learned some 16 year old wants to be like me. FML
nerdsgetmehot 23
Maybe he wants to be a chef. No harm in that...
beccusmaximus 0
Yeah, I'm pretty sure culinary school counts as college. I personally have a degree in Pastry Arts.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#31 Oh, what?! I totally do too!
boyguydudemalema 0
im pretty sure the dude wants to be a fry cook at mcdonalds. people do that for a living but u dun see them complain.
ShredyBoy 0
But.. SpongeBob Squarepants is AWESOME! I'm gonna do the same.
TheJawsman 18
Yep, he's a fruitcake. But I guess it's better than aspiring to work at BK or McD for a living.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#4 So because he wants to cook for a living, that automatically means he's gay? Oh boy...
Amy78_fml 11
fruit cake means crazy, nuttier than a fruit cake
nerdsgetmehot 23
#24 Ohhh. I must have confused that with the term "fruity." Whoops!
KingDingALing 9
Spongebob is still gay. He laughs like a little girl and he's in love with Patrick.
dudeitsdanny 10
But Spongebob works at a fastfood restaurant. OP's son IS aspiring for BK or something. Be proud, OP.. With his mental capacity his hero could be... Patrick. Unfortunately, thats the only thing worse than Spongebob. At least he wants to be a fry cook, not a talking Sponge. But, i'll be honest here... You deserve it for dropping him on his head and/or raising someone like this. It's bad enough he loves that show(no offense to fans, but it's a brain rotter of the lowest kind), but he made Spongebob his hero.. You raised a loser. Take away his television privileges, make him read(start with Clifford books, though, don't wanna kill him), and restrict his computer to homework and pornography.
SleepingSkulls 0
^ This
spaceshan69 0
thanks 55. I was beginning to lose the tiny amount of faith I had left for American youth.
amberbby69 6
Not everyone wants to be rich, some people are content with doing what they love and living check-by-check. If that makes him happy, then so be it. Plus, he might end up being a great chef one day.
ygdrassil 17
Only crazy people don't want to be rich.
ILoveSomeFun 0
I think happiness is more important than the money
Discombobulated9 12
Does that mean he wants to live in a pineapple?
Fresh4416 0
I'd be so jealous of his house.
TurnOffs 0
Under The Sea.?
RavenDesired 10
Under the sea?
Hannerzzz 0
Let him. it's his choice, he'll change it when he gets older anyways.
pencilcozy 1
Don't worry; your kid is just a stoner. Encourage him to watch cartoons with better jobs.
MissErikaHart 0
like....?
Mauskau 36
American Dad!
brianjman14 23
Just make sure he doesn't go into the water and drown looking for Spongebob like that kid did a few years ago.
beccusmaximus 0
Dude, seriously? Just when you think kids can't get any dumber....
InvaderAmi 4
I think that was fake...
Iluv2D_fml 0
I will beat him with my spatula fr being pathetically stupid!!