Monkeyspank
Today, my sister decided that it would be a great idea to give my almost two-year-old son some strong black coffee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
my_way_1213
Smart kid
Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML
Anonymous
La Grange, United States
Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML
lucas_urev
Cold Spring Harbor, United States
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
diddlebuag
United States
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
unknown
Philippines
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Anonymous
Malaysia
Mommy milkers
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Vegansux
Netherlands
Beginner's protest
Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML
...
Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML
megean c.l.
United States
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
stargirl
Canada
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
Top comments
acmariner99 25
I'm very curious about the outcome to this
aggoden_bed 9
<p>At least she didn't give him red bull. </p>
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Comments (29)
RichardPencil 32
That's child abuse! No cream and sugar?!?!? Barbaric!!!
samwilliams800 28
Cream and sugar is coffee abuse.
Suckmybigrooster 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't think your family would to very high on the iq level anyway. I see my living of the tax payers as you lay on your back with your legs open to any guy would is willing to risk a std
Bluepies 24
A toddler drank black coffee and didn't spit it out?
shortcake563 21
my 3yr old loves black coffee he takes a few drinks of my mom's when she has it and ALWAYS ask for more lol
LyricaSilvan 30
Reminds me of that one episode of American Dad, when Francine had Greg and Terry's baby and Stan decided to give her coffee because she kept falling asleep.
trucker2 33
Poor kid gonna get the *****, too.
cootiequeen4444 11
Sounds like your sister needed a cup of her own before making ridiculous decisions such as that one.
jeffprobs 29
Actually the thing with the most caffeine is cold brew
flakawaka 0
Did you slap her?
xMaeLA 24
It'll put some hair on his chest. He'll be a manly baybeh.
GIJoefan 6
A whole friggin cup?!