Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML
Today, while visiting my parents, I observed that I've been able to visit more often because I've avoided getting sick the whole year. My mother responded by reminding me that I need to get my act together if I'm going to lose weight and get healthier. Not the reaction I hoped for, Mom. FML
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I'm now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML
Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Today, for Mother's Day, I surprised my Mother with the news I that I'll be visiting in June. The last time we got to visit was 4 years ago, we live 4000 miles apart and it's a very expensive trip. She said, "No, come next June, I want to lose some more weight before seeing you." FML
Today, I told my mom that I'm bulimic and have been for a few years, and that I needed help. She responded by saying, "Well that's clearly not working for you. Why don't you try anorexia?" She then patted me on the head, smiled, and walked away. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Tell her to take a trip to the sun, she might get a heart after it thaws out.
RedPandax 23
That incredibly insensitive. She should volunteer in Africa. It might make her a more nicer person, it sounds like she's needs it.
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Comments (67)
Chicken46 5
Your mum is a dick OP
more4me 27
I'd rather be fat (I assume that's what OP's mom meant?) than an insensitive idiot, like your mom. If your mom isn't happy with the way you look, tell her that you have her genes after all, but fortunately, not her personality ! Chin up, OP!
bapbap_fml 15
What a stupid thing to say. I'm very thin because of my health problems and I've had a friend say I was "lucky" because of it. I wanted to slap her and say "I'd rather have my health and function normally, you dumb twat!"
mellyski 25
OP, your mama is nuts. I live in Auckland too - tell her to go volunteer at the children's hospital, she might learn something from mums with real problems.
Richard6036 13
It sounds like your mother talks out of her ass quite often
Genea 8
What a bitch.
brianna_ames 5
im so so sorry
nevergonnaGivUup 8
What a savage...
BloodyGlass 10
"Maybe you should go to Hell, your heart might melt in the process." What a bitch, sorry about that OP. :(