Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
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Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-
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A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
Juli_fml 0
anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?
JohnnyViola 0
Oh, wow. That sounds like my mother.
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Comments (293)
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
I don't get why it's an FML. My mom would probably say something along those lines too. Something more like "If you even get a girl pregnant before you move out, I'll kill the bitch."
amykillswitch 0
lol your mom is brutal. I would say the same thing to my kid though. Sorry but by the time my kid is old enough to be involved with sex, I plan on relaxing and doing my own shit again. Not raising another kid that isn't even mine.
o_x_fml 7
Damn. o.o
yesbutnotyou 0
HAHAHA that's awesome! sounds just like my mom.
ilovefmlife 0
mhmm our mother's are definitely related.
mcsnelly 5
# 118-she said ever COME HOME pregnant...as in while living at her house, i'm assuming being in school....not ever BECOME pregnant.
heather889121 0
um... so??? my father always said that to me... maybe you wouldn't think this was a FML if you never had to worry about it (aka, having unprotected sex)
mcsnelly 5
ok i meant # 120 not # 118....sorry
abuu 0
haha wow! that sucks
dingleberrybop 0
your mother has issues