Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
Litterbox tells us more.
Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
Juli_fml 0
anyone else think there should be a "parents" section on here?
JohnnyViola 0
Oh, wow. That sounds like my mother.
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Comments (293)
thelonelylurker 0
That'll stop you from getting pregnant! Hahaha. Seriously, scary shit.
genius_man16 1
#21 is my hero btw
PieGuy 0
congrats, your mothers a psycho :)
dazzlemcnazzle 0
Jesus H. Christ. That's sick. No one deserves to die! I'm afraid my mother might tell me something similar someday.... >.
Hellsno 0
#103 Yes, waaaay too seriously! LMFAO! Your mother is hilarious!
500_error 0
I hope you were able to record that as evidence of a death threat, just in case.
heeystefi_fml 0
lmfaoo your mom(L) but i dont get how this is a fml? itd be one if you were actually pregnant
tiltwrestler 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Well, you best not come home pregnant then! That seems like a no-brainer... what's the worries?
fuckass 0
Tell your mother not to sue me for copyright infringement bc i am TOTALLY stealing that one day ;) hahahahahha ur moms hillarious!
Litterbox 0
Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-
Quin_fml 0
um that really sucks, i woul call social services or something, get out of there quick. but, i can't help but wonder- that bit about the holocaust? did you mean it was morally wrong or the events depicted are historically inaccurate?