EgoMoose
United States
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Chris Bores
Prince Frederick, United States
That's what a druggie would claim
Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML
Jan
United States
One-upmanship championship
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
ughhhh
United States
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
You hypocrite
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Dumbweed
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Smoke 'em if you've got 'em
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
cazorp
United States
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
kp.
United States
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Goody2shoes
India
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Check yourself
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Anonymous
United States
Boozehound
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Sounds like your mom is a little uptight. Maybe you could get her a prescription for some medical marijuana.
brutallyhonest24 0
LMAO, well now we wont blame you if you develop a drinking problem =P
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Comments (124)
hedgehogs 0
I would absolutely love to hear your mom's beliefs about marijuana. I suspect they're SNL-worthy.
shrdlu 28
To the person who posted the FML: If your mother has EVER had a drink in her life, you could become very concerned about her becoming an alcoholic. "You didn't get drunk today, did you?" "Are they going to be serving alcohol where you're going?" Ask similar questions at least once or twice a day. SWEAR that you're only doing it because you love her and you'd be so hurt if she ever became a drunk.
b1a2n3a4n5a6s 0
I've actually got a prescription for Vicodin, and while the high is nice (along with the pain relief) it makes me nauseous as hell, and gives me a massive headache. Stoner friends tell me I ought to try toking up before or after I take it, and that it should help with the nausea/headache, but I'm not sure if it's wise to mix the two.
vmimo 0
YDI for telling your mom; I don't smoke pot but I am a huge advocate for legalization because the more dumb asses that smoke it and screw their lives up now = the less competition I have in the business world in a few years.
shooter308 0
Are you ******* retarded? You are aren't you? What about the stoners student loans? You said he's working for his habit, right? So he won't be able to pay them off and therefor have the same debt? and just because he works multiple jobs doesn't mean he has more work experience. It shows he is not stable, and probably won't stay at the company long. I know this is all hypothetical, but come the **** on man. I'm not taking a side on the issue, I just want to point out how stupid your scenario is.
b1a2n3a4n5a6s 0
Wow, that's kinda shitty. FYL, OP. My mother's the exact opposite, thank god.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
its FANTASTIC to mix the two. i dont like vicoden otherwise, it just makes me feel sober but calmed down..and itchy. the nausea is because of the acetominphen. if youd like to try hydrocodone without the stomacheache, if its a prescription tell your doctor that its making you feel sick and they might give you vicoden with less acetominphen in it or if youre lucky possibly some norcos or percocets haha
xdrumkid101x 0
To all the people commenting saying "Pot wrecks your life!": If you smoke it once, it won't kill you or make you Abadan person or whatever. Everyone expirements. However, if continue smoking it nd become addicted, it can **** up your life eventually. So shush and stop being little goodie-two-shoes. :)
newsgit 0
Pot doesn't wreck lives, the law does. Honestly, if you bake some special brownies, eat 'em, and burn off the calories, you are not harming your body at all. Pot is NOT harmful to you. Smoking pot may be, but so is smoking tobacco, and that's still legal. FYL, but I thought this was funny.
jerylann 0
hahaha thats gayy as alll hell.. gladd my parents didnt do that when they found out i was doin it like weekly or moree.. who was there and whatd they say? i suggest gettin momma to toke some bowls :]
kisseshugsdrugs 5
to all you people suggesting mom smoke some bowls you guys are being ridiculous, come on..TELL MOM TO SMOKE BLUNTS! haha