Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, I found out my family's Thanksgiving was canceled. Why? Because my mom doesn't want to cheat on her diet, so we aren't having it at all. FML
Today, after taking vacation time to visit her, my mom told me she was glad I was leaving so she could get back to her diet. I'm prediabetic and have been trying to manage the condition. She ordered dessert at every meal and was the only one in the family who did. FML
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML
Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
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Top comments
leighxxx998 0
or maybe you're fat and she doesn't want to break it to you
nzl_fml 0
Your dog's name is Twix. Highly unlikely any diet will be successful for you lot.
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Comments (137)
bubba_who_me 0
I just find it hilarious how your dog's name is twix!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Where'd the other one go? Maybe the dog lost his twin to obesity :(
TooLittleTooLate 0
So....FYL for having to eat healthier and lose weight?
Mirabella_fml 0
Umm are you sure your not over weight? i mean come on you named your dog twix! haha
9D2B 0
Make her eat the dog... Problem solved =)
irishdad 0
tell your mom that when you can lick your own arss hole you will go on the diet with the dog...your mom is an idiot
triggerit 5
do you have a fat cat?
biso_fml 0
i say, '**** Twix' ....
MassaChickLOL 0
#62 lmao that made me laugh
dugumit 0
wow this is a day twix will remember for the rest of his short life.
sleepygamer 0
**** that noise. I'd go out and buy chocolate bars by the boxload and eat them in front of the family with every sign of orgasmic enjoyment. If they commented, my reply would be "It's a ******* dog. I weigh less than that little bastard. I'm eating my goddamn chocolate."
VenusBlue 0
"OH GOD,THIS CANDY IS SOOO GOOOD!" I'm suddenly compelled to get some chocolate after seeing "******" in the same sentence with it.