Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML
Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML
Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
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Top comments
froggyjade 16
Bet you looked beautiful :-D
blackonblight 33
Hey, if David Bowie can rock glitter lips, why not you? Just channel your inner goblin king.
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Comments (128)
xXBrennanXx 5
you must have been da balm
rjberger1853 8
Hahahahaha r u a guy or girl?!
Nolimit2217 32
I was driving the other day and used the chapstick my lady left in the car.. Yup it was glittery.
imhope 23
I just hope your comfortable enough in your man hood that it won't affect you lol
djsammyc 19
whats wrong with princess? my crush,dad,and friend all call me it
squidgy787 22
Op has a penis.
martin8337 36
At least the person you borrowed the lip balm from didn't have herpes.
martin8337 36
Dude looks like a lady?
Xotoolyxo 16
I bet all the girls just stared your gorgeous lips (;
brunbanan 12
I don't see the problem
chocolatefrog28 29
At least you had to have been the prettiest princess at the ball, that has to count for something.