Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I tried to take a cute selfie with my dog. Right as I hit the button, he sneezed on my face. Now I have an unexpected "glamour shot" that captures him mid-sneeze and me looking horrified, and I'm somehow still tempted to post it. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
like you've never ran into a glass door
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Comments (93)
Kamon97 23
Why do you have to trust this dog with your life? Unless it's a seeing eye dog or something.
Zomg_Okay 27
Could be a variety of reasons. Guard dog in a bad area, one of those dogs that watches for seizures, seeing eye dog, etc.
glabberfasted 16
It was a seeing eye dog. The mods edited it, I remember voting on this one
mcrepas 19
Reference #16's comment further down the page. It originally said seeing eye dog.
_iquitlife_ 10
or it could work with op as a police dog vbn
crimsin_ 21
Some people have such severe allergies that they need a dog nearby to alert them if the substance that they are allergic to is near. This is probably more likely than a seeing eye dog
tigerisabelle 31
Maybe this particular dog is a seeing-eye dog, but there are tons of reasons why dogs can be support animals: some watch for seizure activity (epilepsy) , allergies, for people with diabetes there are dogs that detect low blood sugar, autism, mental issues, hearing -- they can be EXTREMELY important and crucial to peoples survival.
mcholl 7
Is this a seeing eye dog?
abcdog123 16
I think hes more of a sneezing eye dog :p
PenguinBitch 44
No THIS IS PATRICK
WoodChupper 9
That funny as hell xD
SgtAssCheeks 21
In b4 animal cruelty/rights activists comments
ohcheriecherie 20
it's not animal cruelty when a dog sneezes
AnagenisisZagus 13
Ah yes, 38. I can't count how many times I've been called a monster for allowing my dog to sneeze.
Stephy94 9
Are you joking? I got ran out of my town with the pitchforks and torches all because my dog sneezed. Can't step back into that town without my head being mounted on a pike. Consider yourself lucky.
KissMyButtocks 6
83 you're trying to hard
warsun 27
This is.......difficult to picture in my mind
KingSplatter 9
clearly you never had a dog
Kovu_fml 16
My dog has done crap like that before.
onlychildFTW 34
Oh okay. Your point?
classiceagle63 16
Maybe you should but carpet down and give it a helmet.. Just an idea
Dodge4x4Ram 46
like you've never ran into a glass door
classiceagle63 16
Watch the FML person be blind and have a seeing eye dog. Aha
mcrepas 19
Dog goes through a doggy door leading blind person straight into door.
Exhaling 12
How would they post this on FML if they were blind?
Not_Impressed13 9
Make him wear the Cone of Shame!
RedDevel96 5
God bless your dog lol
omnia 5
Police dog?