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con135 Farmingdale, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

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con135 tells us more.

con135 12

Needless to say she still makes fun of me for this, when she asks me for something she will say something like,"can you firmly grasp that soda and hand it to me?"

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

Obito_Rocks 6

I'm hoping it didn't end up the way it did on the show, anyway.

toxicLover28 19

Spongebob lines are great and catchy.

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Comments (132)

killer0689 20

well did she "GRASP" it firmly ?? :p

sstahpp 33

Perv alert

rickyricoco 12

"you think this is a joke?" "NO, THIS IS PATRICK"

LostInTheZone11 29

Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on.

bbrink 6

my favorite quote

shaynacaves 15

First hand-job and you're throwing out spongebob lines? Yeah you'll do just fine in life!

Jinxsie 27

Whoa! Calm down, Caves.

alanamarieg 18

I was thinking White Chicks reference at first, haha.

SkullSphinx 10

I can't even decide if your life sucks or if it's your fault, that's so freaking awesome!

Nimor 25

/facepalm

UhHuhHoney 20

"Two hours later...."

Ziggy122 15

Can you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.

LPisLame 16

LMFAO!! Dawg, wtf?!

tbro47 23

Can you feel it now mr krabs?