Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if I could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over, he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML
Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she was home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave, she sent me a text saying, "Can you pick up my friend Spencer?" FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, I called my sister and asked if she could watch my baby while I went to the store for desperately needed groceries and supplies. She refused, despite the fact that she's randomly dropped off her three rambunctious boys more times than I could count so she could go clubbing. FML
Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML
Today, it was our first kid-free weekend in almost two months, and I was hoping for a nice date night. Instead, she picked up two shifts at work and then had a girls' night. Don't worry, she assigned me a massive deep clean that ate up almost my entire weekend. FML
Today, my best friend came over for dinner and a movie. Moments after arriving, she spent an hour on the phone, and ended up accepting another invitation before leaving. I guess it's dinner for one tonight. FML
Today, my daughter's school was putting on a fashion show for charity and all the kids were supposed to ask their mothers to be in it. I asked my daughter about it and she said, "Well, I was going to ask you, but they said to only 'ask all of your beautiful mommies'." FML
Today, I went to my son's friend's birthday party and felt really proud of giving a great gift. It just so happened that I regifted the same gift that his friend's mother gave to my son the month before, because I forgot to check the name on the bag. It looked like she was about to faint. FML
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Top comments
zena_baladi 3
I would let her know that you are not available. Apparently you are not one of her girlfriends so why should you do her a favour.
blacksunshine 0
Oh that sucks. I have a "friend" who does the exact same thing. I just ignore it... just make sure she pays you what you are worth for babysitting... preferably more... :)
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Comments (70)
meandonlyme 0
time for you to slap a ho.
mj2123 0
Nice friend.
juneping 0
people like that you should just tell her right there and then that you thought you were her friend. why people nowadays are so rude.
zena_baladi 3
I would let her know that you are not available. Apparently you are not one of her girlfriends so why should you do her a favour.
metonymy 0
Word. She wants you to be her friend when she needs a favour but she'll specifically exclude you when she wants to have fun with friends? Don't let her walk over you like that; tell her she can't have it both ways.
tcnorden 0
Tell her that you have a different bitch's kids to watch. And then tell her you are inviting all of the ****** in town over for an intervention and you would love for her to come that night because someone should really do something about her whoreyness. FYL :)
Tyrax 16
Don't accuse her friend of such a thing! It's spelled whoreness. No "ee" sound. Alternately, her "friend" is Horrible, with a capital "W."
AAAAHHHH12 2
No problem, but why are you thanking us? You're thirteenth. He he. (:
thingymajig 0
this reminds me of that movie Accepted. "i'm having a party before prom and i was wondering if you could...mow--our lawn."
Nocturna_fml 0
I'd agree to it and then simply not go. Make her get all ready to go out and then realize she has nobody to take care of her son. Hopefully it'll be too last minute to find anyone. (I'm aware that I'm a bitch)
sublime93 0
That's actually perfect
hannahbanana11 0
i hope u said NO BITCH! i would of teehee
Ohnothingreally 0
Yeah, Mercy, I was thinking that as well.