Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML
Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML
Today, I begged my parents not to take me to a restaurant for my birthday, but sure enough, they took me to one, along with my siblings, aunts, uncles, you name it. Ordering with them is a nightmare, so after a whole half-hour the waiter still hadn’t gotten everyone’s complicated orders written down. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML
Today, my parents were supposed to take me out to eat for my birthday, but since their favorite child wasn't with us, I instead got a mini order of tots from Sonic as my birthday meal/present. FML
Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML
Today, my friends took me out to the most expensive restaurant in town to celebrate my promotion, we ordered everything with expensive drinks too. They 'took a smoke break' and left me with the bill. FML
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Top comments
rudegirlmania 10
...An eight minute bathroom break???
ScaughtieHolden 11
37, "all over the sink?"
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Comments (44)
Enigmax2514 7
"happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me... Happy birthday to me... Oh I do hate my family..."
lovealwayssam 14
Did you time yourself from when you left the table, or when you started to pee?
ladyLALAA 29
Disown
perdix 31
Your nickname is very appropriate, Weirdo. First, you time your bathroom visits. Secondly, you think this story belongs in the Intimacy section. The only way this story could be intimate is if your family fled in shame and disgust of your uncontrolled fetish for public masturbation.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
You're awesome, Perdix. Really. :P
atomicmrpelly 2
What does being vegetarian have to do with it?
DeathBunny218 37
they took her to a steak house
Takainthemachine 0
Eight minutes?? Just for that YDI.
THE_A_TEEN 28
She was either: A) Taking a dump B) on her period C) A or B with time to fix herself D) Throw up Really, it sounds like you never took 8 minutes in a bathroom. Are you even human?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Also, the main part of the fml is that her family took her to a steak house in the first place, even though she is a vegetarian AND ditching her with the possibly expensive bill, ON HER BIRTHDAY. Really there was no ydi for the start, the parents were douchebags for the start...
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for being a vegetarian.. I'd have taken you to a steakhouse too..
DeathBunny218 37
that's like saying "YDI for not smoking." There is nothing wrong with being a vegetarian and clearly she doesn't preach about it and try to convert since she let her family take her to a steak house.
akayc32 0
13, I think it was pretty much OP's way of explaining that it took them only 8 minutes to order and eat dessert, then to leave her with the bill.
Ardnirun 0
Dun quite get it. U r a vegan, ur family brot u to a steak house... And it was ur bday... Erm anyways, hpy bday.
gene818 13
When did she say she's a vegan? She's a vegetarian...at a...a steak house?
fuckmylife518 15
Why the **** is this in the intimacy category?? This has absolutely nothing to do with anything sexual AT ALL....TERRIBLE fml.