kayadd33
Richmond, Canada
Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML
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perdix 31
1. Write down what she says. 2. Dress in sandals and robes. 3. Go to a crowded place like a mall. 4. Read your daughter's writings to the crowd. 5. ????? 6. Prophet.
Sparks808 10
"Into every generation a slayer is born: one girl in all the world, a chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer." Congrats, mom!!
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Comments (241)
shadowPlayer 6
One girl born to every generation to fight the darkness? One born to fight Voldemort? Or the one to turn water to wine?
MerrikBarbarian 9
Don't forget bring balance to the force! She could be chosen for that too
twisted_cherub 14
What about one to destroy the Matrix? Or the one ring to rule them all?
Wheatbreadman 14
What about the Avatar?
LittleAkuma 2
Sir Breadman you have made a win comment. ATLA forever!
br0ccoli 15
I sometimes think this too, but only after a concerning amount of tequila shots.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Keep her away from sith lords and corrupt politicians then. Instead direct her towards vampires with a wooden stake.
ElricMustang 23
I thought I was the Chosen One! I practiced Alchemy for nothing?!
bioman250 10
Do her tongue have a face on it?
tsunami1313 1
Popped in just to add that, glad someone beat me to it.
skyeyez9 25
Delusions of grandeur If I remember correctly, is one of the symptoms of schizophrenia.
br0ccoli 15
But how do you distinguish 'delusions' from 'massive potential'?
daminantion 14
Delusional is to think or feel capable of doing, whilst potential is intangible. You can measure deludes in degrees where potential is a simple inactivity, it cannot be measured.
br0ccoli 15
1-can i drive the bat mobile? where is the secret lair? WHERE?? I will bribe you with snickers bars, cheeseburgers and these wall-sized Ezio posters.
loserman67 36
Agree with her, then hand her a bucket complete with rags, mop, broom and cleaning supplies. Tell her that you are "choosing" her to clean the house. Then tell her she has been "chosen" to do the laundry. After dinner tell her that she can "choose" to either clear the table or do the dishes. I bet that "chosen one" shit goes away real fast.
Angelrose2004 17
I went to school with a guy who thought he was Jesus. He grew his hair out and looked just like the pics of Jesus! Needless to say, he ended up in a mental place for a couple years. But maybe OP's daughter is young with a wild imagination. Being positive!
Schiffy 18
And I went to school with a guy whose nickname was Jesus..... Of course, he didn't actually think he was any kind of divine being, he just had really long hair and the nickname stuck.
Angelrose2004 17
This dude would actually tell you that he was Jesus. Oh, but it just hit me that he got messed up from doing a shit load of drugs. Let that be a lesson to the kiddos.
P374RD3D 9
I need your daughter. There is no time to explain.
MayKeoN 0
Or about 250 days to be precise? Interesting posting time my friend. There will be more than one this time around. Kamkil on Skype, don't waste time.