Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML
Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be a good idea to show my 5-year-old son a documentary about Hurricane Katrina. My son is now terrified of hurricanes. We live in Utah. FML
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
Today, my parents informed me that my dad is leaving my mom and moving to Florida from New York tomorrow. I just spent $300 on a new crossbow for his birthday, which is tomorrow, in hopes that he would spend more time with me. FML
Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML
Today, my parents left me several frantic voicemails early this morning about the hurricane, totally in a panic that I wasn’t safe. I called them when I woke up and told them I was fine. They were actually angry that I wasn't in the eye of the storm, because they “worried for nothing.” FML
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Top comments
SqueakyChipmunk 22
When I heard about hurricane Sandy, the first thing I thought of was spongebob.
Darkmagic666 9
Well at least he can now be prepared for the zombie apocalypse?
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Comments (143)
buckdharma 38
do you want Sandy ?
katie887 2
Wow! That's just really funny. May be gift your dad an atlas for Christmas?
lenamartinovic 13
Don't worry, OP. I had a similar blonde moment. I dreamt that a fire from Australia came to ISRAEL.
neurodoc 1
Just like the NYS lottery ad says - Hey you never know.
cis1den 0
~ That's actually what your Mother told your Father when she asked,"Is my child a Retard?"
Rosie_Posie43 12
Yea the bright side is that now OP has enough food to survive a zombie apocalypse.
olpally 33
Might as well milk him for his stupidity... Tell him to buy beer and pizza to survive and DVDs as well... Lol :D
jewwybeanzzz 10
trade them with the poster of the microwaved ramen noodles post. its a win win!
MidnightKnight 6
Scar: A shining new era is tip toeing nearer Hyenas: And where do we feature? Scar: Just listen to teacher I know it sounds sordid But you'll be rewarded When at last I am given my dues And injustice deliciously squared BE PREPARED!
perdix 31
Don't underestimate Frankenstorm. It could be comin' to get you, suckah! Yes, you can be too prepared. My basement is full of "20" stickers from Y2K that I was going to use to fix all the erroneous 19s. Except for one checkbook, my preparedness was a total waste!
Kaylalovesyouu 8
Well, at least he's prepared for a storm that might go to Australia in the near future :/