Today, I have to pretend to be vegan for a week while visiting my in-laws to avoid eating there. While they are absolutely wonderful, kind, loving people, their kitchen is absolutely disgusting, and their food handling habits are atrocious. I’m so hungry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, we're visiting my wife's extended family. They're nice people but they eat like crap; I haven't had a single fresh vegetable or fruit in days, and everything they cook is overcooked and smothered in cheap sauce or "seasonings." My stomach is about to go on strike. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML
Today, my husband caught me sneaking out of his parents' house to get food. I love my in-laws, they’re the type of people others dream of having, but the food is so horrible. I don’t understand how in such a large family of amazing people not one of them has figured out how to make a decent meal. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, my parents have been whining about me spending a weekend there, so I did. I have severe IBS and sent them the list of foods I can eat 2 weeks ago when I told them I was coming. They had no food in the house that I could eat without getting sick, and got offended when I didn’t eat or tried to buy my own food. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
Hungry is better than ill.
poopface82 25
You can’t eat at everybody’s house!
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Comments (4)
GoogieWithers 25
Hungry is better than ill.
poopface82 25
You can’t eat at everybody’s house!
Yudith 28
Beware; next time, they might cook you a vegan meal. Better tell the truth right away.
JackWood 21
I feel ya kid. Find some granola bars to squirrel away.