Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML
Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident he'll win every time. FML
Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML
Today, after years of waiting, my mom and I finally received a check from Child Support Services. Excited, I opened it up to find a check from my dad, written out for 45 cents. Which pays for maybe half a loaf of bread. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
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Top comments
howdidithappen 0
haha. Funny guy
imnutsss 0
uh you had it correct the first time honey..
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Comments (104)
crazy_cat_lady 0
LOL #12. Mmmmmmm ........sandwich.........
Meowff 0
#14 Because he nearly peed himself out of being exited, only to find out he won only five bucks. Ha ha.
Tehalon 0
Your dad is made of WIN. (YDI for being a crybaby tho!)
gregthestrange 3
OP, I can call whine-one-one for you and have them send over the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMbulance for you
bettyboo_x 0
ha!
Altrown_fml 0
XD Your dad is ******* awesome.
lowcapacityx 0
Have you watched "Malcolm in the Middle" that reminds me of something 'Hal', the dad from the show, would do. :]] Awesome papi.
Sens_fan9 0
LOL funny dad.
Victoria2103 0
Hahaha, love it. You're father's really funny. :D
serious1y 0
PEOPLE. type your comment once. it WILL come up. no one wants to read what you have to say twice.