Today, my cousin left her undisciplined demon-child at my house for Christmas. This child destroyed the other children's gifts and made so much noise that the neighbors called the police. The adults can't really discipline her while her mother is away, so all we can do is apologize in this child's wake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML
Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for two months. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my spoiled step-daughter had extra chores to do for breaking the rules. She called my wife at work, complained about the chores, then my wife called me and said that she didn't want to deal with the drama. It ended with, "Make her do something else!" WTF! She chooses her own punishment! I hate this kid, seriously. FML
Today, I usually take my daughter to daycare; my wife had to drop her daughter off at 8. The kid refused to get up, making them late. Wife argues with me, claiming I made her late. She said hurtful things and left late at 8:30. We haven't spoken and probably won't for the rest of Christmas week. I love Christmas. FML
Today, it's Christmas Day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML
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Top comments
RayneSmytson 24
If the child is left in your care you certainly can discipline the child. That's not to say to smack the child or anything, but you certainly can do what you need to pull the kid into line. You're there to supervise and keep the child safe and others safe from the child, not make friends and apologise for the child.
MrsHumanFrog 19
I refuse to watch children that Im not allowed to discipline, Period. Family or not, if the kid knows they can get away with it, they will.
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Comments (60)
Kade Marquez 7
What a little bitch! duct tape them to the ceiling!
maverick8369 4
I would have beat that child's ass
piinksock 17
If I watch anyone's kids, they're subject to the same discipline as my own. The parents know that and if they don't like it they can come get them. It confuses and disrupts your own children's discipline if the rules arent the sane across the board.
darkshadus 10
My question is if you knew this kid is such a demon spawn why did you invite them? I would have turned their a$$es at the door and told them to "get to steppin"
crabapple 11
if you cannot disaplen, then disaplen that child and never have to watch that child again. and if you do that child will quickly learn that, that type of action will not be tolerated. sometimes oldschool style of corprel punishment (ie spankings) will do more for the child to remember
shannon2348 14
Why can't you discipline her? It's your house. I would discipline her because in my house you behave by my rules. ydi.
Plcx 8
don’t you know how to exercise authority over a child??