Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML
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Top comments
flysniper77 6
Not everyday you get attacked by pussy
MelTheGreat 23
Unless you're Tiger Woods.
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Comments (131)
ICastillo 25
Surprise!!! He was just giving you a hug for Christmas. Don't be so rude and just accept with open arms.
80skid 15
Psycho cat.
nycwrestler 17
Crazy pussy
abbiyroad 16
That pussy's a riot
Looee 20
Some cats cannot be trusted.
howdeedoo 22
Seeing how many cat FML's there are, I would say most cats can't be trusted
daytoday21 10
Hard to have much sympathy for you when you would have thought it funny if it were anyone else
hama806 19
Your cat is awesome!
amykins11 6
maybe your cat was unhappy with its lack of presents
Werken247 14
Or maybe the cat was pissed about the pandora bracelet OP got her.
ManInTheMachine 20
I'm pretty sure it's because she told it what she was getting it for Christmas.
billyz77 24
Like all the people I've read about the last few days. I wonder if I'm the only person that had a beautiful Christmas?
tararochelle 18
Still funny to me!! Cats are angry little animals, aren't they?? :)
Sir_ND_Pity 35
OP is hurt right meow, but you were able to avoid greater suffering by a whisker so be happy!
nycwrestler 17
Purrhaps puns aren't your thing.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Yeah, I realized what a catastrophe that was :3
wagne057 6
Maybe she's just fulfilling her dreams of being a terrifying panther attacking passing prey!
perdix 31
So, you are into schadenfreude, other people's pain. Great. Happy ******* new year!
Werken247 14
Awwww Perdix... you say that like it's a bad thing.