Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML
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Top comments
flysniper77 6
Not everyday you get attacked by pussy
MelTheGreat 23
Unless you're Tiger Woods.
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Comments (131)
False_Stupidity 42
You imply that there were other potential victims around at the time and as the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few it was good of you to sacrifice yourself for the amusement of everyone else.
AnxietySlave 9
Why dont you set up a camera? Then you can laugh at it for years and years to come.
Altair18 10
I could totally see that going viral in YouTube
HoleyColey 9
it's funny cause it's true, next thing you know number one hit
rp713 4
Oh My G but that's so hilarious LOL
BVBARMY1238 9
My cat does that
Vidimus 13
A Christmas tree is every house cat's play-mountain. You should know this, OP.
TurkeySlab 9
Still funny :D
sugarbear0727 19
We have one cat that likes to hide in our wood pile outside and attack people. Its super cute cause she also likes to attack our dogs. Haha. She doesn't claw, just tackles. Then she usually runs off into the pile again to wait for someone else, or when you're not looking, she'll attack you again.
namelessmonster 6
Ouch I want that cat!
Jenni_da_wolf 5
Even more proof that cats are demon spawn. Look, it's even attacking from under the jesus / pegan tree!