Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flysniper77 6
Not everyday you get attacked by pussy
MelTheGreat 23
Unless you're Tiger Woods.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
darkmis1 18
Kitties are so cute
dragincock 4
You deserve it for having a cat. Cats suck.
emeraldisle 30
You suck.
Osafune 19
My cats are pretty mischievous too, which is why my boyfriend bought me a nerf gun for Christmas. It's not quite as effective as he had hoped, though.
twinkiefeets 17
Your boyfriend bought you a nerf gun to shoot your cats and your ok with that? They could get hurt, that's cruel.
Osafune 19
It's a small one, not one of those giant rapid fire ones. You couldn't hurt anything with it if you tried. It's mostly the noise that scares them, but then they just treat it like a game and eat the little styrofoam darts. At least they stop destroying whatever it was they were destroying to begin with.
Rukkus92 16
A tree cat is the best decoration you can get!
hannnahmarie 14
Cats will be cats, my cat does that under the couch, it's cute at first, but painful after awhile
meggy2010 5
No joke, I had a cat that would only attack me. Seriously, my friends would walk past my cat to see if it would go after them (which it never would), but as soon as I walked past it would attack my legs and when I'd reach done to try and get it off she'd attach my arms. That all changed, tho. She got pregnant and would then only allow me to hold/pet her, and she never attacked me again.
cwbsmoker 5
Lmao. That's great.((:
viagradoesntwork 7
My pet pig does that to me
eksyneet 23
what's the big deal? my cats do that pretty regularly.
StEpHiE1226 12
Ninja kitty!!!
phorn84 13
I'm surprised that nobody here has made reference to Scratch Fury from PvP. To remedy this: Kringus is back!