Today, my brother hugged me for the first time. Turns out he was patting me down to make sure I didn't have cigarettes. Love you too, bro. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML
Today, I realized how friendless and lonely I am. I cried this morning as I recalled my older (20 to my 16) brother visiting last weekend. He began his visit by hugging me and saying, "I love you sis', thanks for letting me be your brother." His affection to me is the only hug someone not my parents has given me in two years. FML
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, for the first time, I hugged the man I have been in love with for four years. It was a congratulatory hug at his wedding to my best friend. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
Today, I texted my brother saying, "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he replied, "You better not be doing drugs." FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
Sizly 12
Well, he was only looking out for you. Even if he doesn't show it, I'm sure he still loves you, OP.
llexibearr 17
at least he cares about your health.
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Comments (30)
Sizly 12
Well, he was only looking out for you. Even if he doesn't show it, I'm sure he still loves you, OP.
helptheorphans 17
or he wanted one for himself...
llexibearr 17
at least he cares about your health.
Jryan952015 7
Cigarettes suck Cigars rule!!!
Sizly 12
That's like saying you prefer drinking your own piss over eating shit as it's more 'nutritional'
fuckedPriceless 17
that's a terrible analogy, piss is sterile and feces is full of bacteria detrimental to our health when ingested. nothing at all like comparing cigars to cigarettes.
kozzard 17
constantly injesting either one will still kill you, whether by dehydration and build-up of toxins and waste, or massive infection, so it's still a pretty good analogy
pooldude 24
He doesn't want you to die, he cares...
saba_ajira 29
Look at the bright side, he's just looking out for you, OP
SoulEaterSE 23
At least he didn't find your weed
urbanbigfoot 20
That is why I chew. Cigs interfere too much with physical performance.
grajax 24
Chew isn't a whole lot better, buddy.
amanda182 19
Not in the least. Chew causes gum cancer, and in my opinion is a hell of a lot more disgusting than cigs. Especially when you're kissing someone, pukkeeee.
SneakySlayer 15
Why the heck would you do any of those three ? They are all bad for your health and will only make you. Spend a lot more money once you get addicted . So I ask why? Is it because it makes you look cool? So your health is worth being cool ? I just don't under stand
mermaidkeels 26
Am I the only one that thought the OP's brother was patting him down so he could find cigarettes for himself and not because he was concern for his brother's health?
vikky538 29
I thought the same
_caffeine_addict 8
maybe, but the way this fml is verbalized, i doubt it.
worldclassrager 41
I don't see a problem here...
idk_rose 25
This is actually great.