Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML
Today, as I watched my boyfriend bake cookies, I said he was "domesticated." He looked at me like I'd just pissed on his mother's grave and has been cold and distant all evening. What the fuck? It's a compliment, you dick. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
You know, that whole conversation really was... *puts on sunglasses* ... in bad taste.
Micayla 12
Aww! Thats mean xD You deserve it for making fun of his cookies(:
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Comments (108)
lolornot 2
Change cook 2 the word ****! N cookies to cockies! N its pretty funny!
TeenieAmerica 9
Am I the only one who doesn't see a problem with what she said? She was just joking, and if I made cookies and someone said that to me, I wouldn't be offended. As for what he said, it was pretty rude, but it sounds like he was also joking. You kinda set yourself up for that one, OP.
Ugi 27
(snip)
Ugi 27
Sorry - there was a problem with my previous reply. OP - your BF was simply demonstrating a little wit. Don't take it too seriously. Consider the following exchange: Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it." Does WC mean this? Of course not. NA left him an open goal and he took it in style. Same with your BF - you made a mildly critical remark and he responded by turning it on you with a fine off-the-cuff put-down. Being able to laugh at yourselves and each other is part of building a relationship. Be happy your BF has some intelligence - and he can cook too. What more do you want?
nollid7 5
You deserved every word. But it's not all bad, at least you taste good lol:)
cryon817 6
Lmfao
thisguy2112 0
YDI for being a bitch
kyat288 9
need some ice for that burn?
Sir_Swaggington 6
If it's true then OP wasn't joking and deserved that diss for being rude. It was his first time baking, of course the cookies looked weird.
queeennnale 18
You really shouldn't criticize a guys cooking because they won't cook for you again.