Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this "joke" a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML
Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
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Top comments
Iamskynet 18
what a piece of crap he is
AviKerensky 17
Some people just have no class. Sorry, OP.
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Comments (59)
KreAtor_O 7
If your boss has someone in the workplace above him, I'd say that he got in trouble for doing so, and that's why he went off on you for your mistake.
Exsequor 14
Pretty big difference between laughing at a client saying something inappropriate for the work place and saying something as the employee. If you don't understand that, you've got a problem.
fsomelife 26
I admire your persistence of continuing to use the word "pissed".
Joshawott 21
Most bosses would want to avoid causing any confrontation with a client because well, they're a source of income. However, you're not - if anything, your boss loses income by paying your wages. So for future reference, start paying your boss and you can get away with whatever :P
Zmanryan3 9
While is wrong he is the boss only he can break the rules.
JosephKorso 15
This happens because the client, or customer, is afforded more leeway than anybody working for the company. Mainly because the company wants the customer's money, and doesn't want to offend the customer in case they take their business elsewhere. Still sucks, mate.
juuuliaaa_fml 28
He must have been in a bad mood.
SauceySarah 30
I've never heard the term off-color. Did you mean off-collar?
Sparx1_1 16
"Off color" is slang for "offensive".
Sparx1_1 16
There is a simple rule. The more the client is worth to the company, the harder you laugh at even the most offensive jokes and the more perfect your manners need to be.
ApocalypseTaco 2
OP here, or at least should be. Submitted this story anonymously (forgot to sign in), but this is too similar to my story, even down to most the wording, for it to be coincidence that someone had such a similar story within a day. So here's the full story. So basically, I'm male, American, and the story wasn't in a department, it was a fast food joint. Basically, if a customer comes through the drive through, and his food isn't ready, you tell them to pull to a certain part of the parking lot so you can run the food out to them when it's ready. So my coworkers, as professional as they are, were making holocaust jokes over the headsets that every employee that isn't on grill wears, some of them near the front counter, with customers around that could be easily hear them joking about killing jews, making holocaust jokes, and imitating Hitler, the like. All of this over the headsets that even the boss was wearing, who could hear all of this. He's a rather cool guy, didn't mind much as long as you weren't actively antagonizing customers. Now, later in the day, we're incredibly busy, and I, like usual, get shafted and have to handle three peoples jobs instead of mine because the place is critically understaffed, not that I'm complaining, a job is a job, and it was my first. So someone gets pulled to the side, and he's waiting for a long while. His food is finally prepared and I'm tasked to run it out to him, and he's pissy, I don't blame him. He cusses me out for having to wait, calling the place shit for taking so long (he's not wrong), and mentioning he didn't get his drink. I offer to get it for him, and start walking before he starts personally insulting me, and I bite my tongue, walk into the building. I ask my boss, same guy that was fine with holocaust jokes in the drive through where anybody could hear them, and close enough to be heard on the counter, without even commenting on it, ask him "Hey, can you get this guy in the parking lot's drink for him, he's seriously pissing me off." Of course, I should have noticed people at the counter, but mistakes happen, and it was two grown adults, entirely unrelated to the incident, who don't comment on the use of very mild language. So I was taken into the back, reprimanded, and sent home early. The next day, I was asked to step into the office and was fired. So I probably deserved to be fired, but in this place where people make holocaust jokes, and one even brags about throwing food and drinks at another pissy customer and only got suspended for a few days, the one who keeps their head down, works three to four people's jobs a day when only assigned to one because they're understaffed beyond possibly legal amounts, frequently wasn't allowed a break despite working nine hours a day and well into overtime on request, covered every shift asked, never got complaints,and was a customer and crew favorite, got fired for a very minor incident on a very first offense. Sure, that was too much to fit into an FML post, so naturally I had it very abridged, but still was quite different here than I posted while being far too similar to my story to be coincidence. And that's the full story. TL;DR This is very similar to my story and my ex-boss is an asshole.