Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, a female coworker kissed me so I reported it to my boss, but he told me I should take the compliment, and asked me why the hell I was complaining about "getting some." I’m a guy, but I’m sure if I was a woman and I’d had a kiss forced on me, it would be a huge issue. FML
Today, I asked one of the girls at work out on a date. She responded by filing a harassment complaint. Now, I can't speak to her at all without being written up. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML
Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML
Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML
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Top comments
niftyismybitch 21
Were you ogling her toe cleavage?
micha090 21
What a bitch she is. But if your boss is going to buy her story, i can confidently say that he is an idiot OP.
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Comments (104)
d4m4s74 12
Let her report you, refute it with simple logic, wait for her to do it again, once again refute, after she's falsely accused different people 10 to 20 times, rape her. No one will never believe her.
Sheh_fml 25
You're disgusting, horrible person. There is nothing that justifies rape. Ever.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Take heart OP, at the of the day, she is the one who is going to look completely stupid and full of herself, not you
Bcfrmkc816 17
Hopefully that is true for op
MrsDruidess 23
well as long as you didn't say "nice shoes, wanna ****" . . . cause that one would do it hahaha
jjmiller1001 17
that's so 90's. but still a good one
Rainhawk94 27
You're so.90's
MrSassypants 34
Unless she exaggerated, your boss would understand she's just being bitchy. "I swear, boss, he was totally checking out my shoes and said he wanted to have sex with them."
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Why do people make an issue out of nothing. Never ceases to amaze me.
Aky0n 10
#5...there's a button for that
khaya 9
Maybe she's really sensitive about her toes
khaya 9
You pervert
sweet23_fml 11
your pic goes so well with your comment.
Caitie_kid 8
I do #10, they're great for pregnant women. Lots of room for swelling feet, they're ugly yes, but I don't know what I'd do without them at this point!
NoFlippinWai 24
actually, one of my guy friends and I used to go "shoe shopping" which was code for checking out girls because if you say a girl has nice shoes it gives you a reason to look her up and down.