Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a nursing student, I needed to take a blood sample from someone and the veins on his arms weren't really easy to draw blood from. I asked him, "Can I please look at your legs?" It turns out he was amputated. FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response, "Still missing". FML
Today, my wife asked when I was going back to the gym because I am developing a belly, which she finds disgusting. I've just had surgery on my thigh, which was her fault for asking, “What’s this thing do?” while grabbing the handle to the jack holding up my car, dropping the car on my leg. FML
Today, while studying pictures of a cadaver for an anatomy class, I found myself jealous of its thigh gap. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair whose leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?" He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML
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Top comments
hazzjazz 0
My band teacher lost a leg a few years back and band class is pretty much crippled jokes. I have a huge repertoire of them if you would like. lol
mikediesel 0
At least you have a foot to put in your mouth!! ;-)
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Comments (27)
emilyaddison1234 0
wow. that was nice good job.
onebigkaboom 10
Why would asking that be considered thoughtful anyway?
jazziness 12
2&3 are MJ haha
RochelleRedvines 8
I guess he's trying to live up to his name.
anjtrg_1112 23
Douche.
yhatzee89 9
Most amputees have a sense of humor about their disability and jokes like that are not that big of a deal.
banemask 14
Think before you speak.
ashleyylove3 22
Foot in mouth is correct.
worldclassrager 41
Think before you speak...I sure hope he didn't think that was supposed to be a smartass comment
warrik55 6
Put a sock into it.