Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML
My words exactly
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
Drowning
Today, I've been sick for five days and I have two college essays and a exam coming up, along with a few other assignments. I've been working non-stop for five days with less than six hours of sleep per day, and more assignments are flowing in as I am working. FML
That's sick
Today, my teacher said that since I was sick last week, I had to do all the work that the others had done, which I didn't know about because no one said anything about it. So now I've got to watch a total of 5 hours-worth of documentaries, and write analysis of them. Before tomorrow. FML
Today, I was hired as a student assistant. I was excited, until I learned on my very first day that "Supporting the academic staff in their research" actually meant walking the professor's dog. FML
Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML
School's out for summer, thank God!
Today, I had 15 teenagers literally laugh in my face when I asked them to be quiet. I'm a student teaching in a high school, which is the culmination of 2 years of my life and $20,000, and I might in fact actually hate doing it. FML
Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML
Today, I kissed my 3.5 GPA goodbye because my English teacher was too caught up planning her parrot's birthday party to put in the credit I deserve for three different essays I completed for her class. FML
Moral quandary
Today, I realized some of my English students have just been going to their Philosophy professor to help them complete their essays. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Count your blessings - no Twilight.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Good luck with reading stories that start all innocent, cute and lovely... And always end with gay sex :)
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Comments (86)
kak_999999999 12
This is the career you've chosen, so if you're not happy with it, go back to school and get a different major.
cyttex 13
Op must be assisting a creative writing class because I've never had the opportunity to write what I want.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Het onedirection fanfiction is the worst lmfao, try larry it's always the best
Rainhawk94 27
Sorry my translator is coming up blank
DocBastard 40
This is definitely a case for my Idiot-English Translation Engine. *whirr* *bzzz* *click* *DING* "Yeah, One Direction fan fiction is the worst! Haha! Try Harry Potter. It's the best! This is what happens when you inhale exhaust fumes just before commenting!" You're welcome.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Did I ******* ask you to speak. Oh guess what, I don't give a flying **** (:
addioty 19
No Doc, I think she's talking about LARRY fanfiction which is *shudder* extremely popular. It's Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. One time I stumbled across one and it was absolutely awful, complete with male pregnancy and the whole shebang.
Melix 31
It will end soon OP, Just hang on tight.
perdix 31
Now, don't you regret not paying attention in math class when you were in school?
lisaroxmysoxx 16
What the hell kind of teacher lets their students write about that kind of crap?
Dthsapprntc 23
Sometimes it is not what they write, but how they write it. If what is being taught is spelling, grammar and composition, then the actual content of the fiction is irrelevant.
bandeek 30
What are you calling crap
Thunderstruck14 30
Absolutely, but part of writing fiction is creating characters, setting up a good setting, tone, and plot, but usually fanfictions already come with all that. A fanfiction could definitely be a really good piece of writing but its best to steer away from those in school. They're more of something people should do on their own time.
lisaroxmysoxx 16
Okay, sorry to say 'crap'. And I am an English teacher for 7th graders, I get all of that stuff about grammar and shit but create a more structured lesson plan.
hunts19ketchup 23
#130, you're an english teacher for 7th graders but you don't know how to use commas correctly.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#130- You're a 7th-grade English teacher... "I get all that stuff about grammar and shit"... LOL.
Papa_Sanchez 8
aww what?! doctor who is amazing! ヽ(^。^)ノ
WellThatSucked89 13
I would read Doctor Who fan fiction all day! You realize that David Tennant wrote Doctor Who fan fiction all the time? Look where it got him! The tenth doctor and married to a previous doctors daughter who incidentally PLAYS the doctors daughter in the show. Let that sink in...
tj4234 36
not to mention that a lot of the fan fiction writers have gone on to write for the show itself. Including Douglas Adams.
Lomus 24
Even Steven Moffat wrote fanfiction, and he's showrunner now, and I'd bet a lot on Peter Capaldi, lifelong fan to have penned a bit too. Even so, English lessons aren't the time and place to do so.
Lomus 24
Difference is though, I presume if they're also writing Teen Wolf and 1D fanfiction, they're probably not even fans of Doctor Who, but those "omg like david tennant da best he so HAWT!!!!!!!<3 Why the new guy old the dr meant to be young an hot :(" kind of whiny fangirls.
Melix 31
Probably, and sadly. :(
DanielleinDC 34
If it's teens writing it, I may not be able to get past the text-speak, the bad grammar, the bad spelling, the poor punctuation. And who writes about Teen Wolf?
bfsd42 20
89, did your English teacher get a new assistant recently?
Thunderstruck14 30
Teenagers get a bad rap for txt speak, bad grammar and spelling, etc. But there are also a lot of teens out there who are amazing writers. A lot of my teen friends are really great at writing, and they write really good quality stuff. Some of the younger ones might have a few errors in their writing, but every good writer makes mistakes in their first drafts. I do realize there's a bunch of people who write shit, but don't stereotype all teenagers like that. Some teenagers are really treated unfairly because of the negative way everyone views them, even if they're not the stereotypical dumb selfish teen.
142_cats 13
I write pretty high quality fan fiction. I'm not just one of writers who thinks they're awesome as my English teacher (a fellow whoovian), fellow fan fiction writers and friends think they're very good too.
Lomus 24
Difference is #115, we're stereotyping the teenagers who write shitty One Direction, Doctor Who and Teen Wolf fanfiction - certainly the Who stuff must be abysmal to be put in that category.
mk8833 9
Finally, someone who can see things the way I do. I hate stereotypes sometimes, and the ignorant people believing that everyone sorts into one
Sitting_Ducki 8
Poor you I bet you can't write if your life depended on it. The critical writers can't write
JMichael 26
Just go with it. Then when you're actually an English teacher you can use your knowledge to teach the children of the generation real English.
ktiskool 18
What's wrong with Doctor Who???
bungholemcgee 11
Doctor Who is the most boring show i have ever watched.
bandeek 30
How?
turncloak 3
Since Eleven? Everything.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
@46: Of course you think it's boring. Because you're an idiot.