Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML
Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML
Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, my friends, led by my best friend, threw me a surprise party. Bearing a cake, they all happily yelled, "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" by suddenly barging in… through the bathroom door. I was on the toilet, in the middle of taking a dump. FML
Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, my family and friends threw a surprise birthday party for me, after I'd said multiple times that I didn't want one. I turned and left and now everybody is angry at me and calling me ungrateful and spoiled. FML
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
Maybe you should lay off them big booty hoes.
sexysaltshaker 11
And did they get you a big booty hoe?
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Comments (97)
darwinism 30
I am surprised that the party was first thing in the morning. It was too early for the big booty hoe if you ask me! Party on OP!
lailaxjan 11
It is NEVER too early for a big bootie hoe.
olpally 33
Who walks around saying that on their birthday? Lol. No big booty hoe for you now. Just a lot of concerned looks from your family. Haha.
perdix 31
Hopefully, your grandparents bought you a Chia Big Booty Hoe™ so you can grow one in 4-6 weeks. Ch-ch-ch-chia!
JustStella 28
Where do you come up with this stuff?
Jaaared_ 15
Ydi for that shitty song
buckdharma 38
Each of your Grandmas ought to be good for $10.
Km1490 20
its your bday you can ask for whatever you want!!
ashjo 12
just be like it's a song no biggie
NicetiesofLife 11
you should have run back up and shut the door...
lailaxjan 11
If you live with your parents (which assumedly you do), why would you do that exactly?
israelnotjacob 20
No it sounds like the OP has his own place with his girlfriend and assumed she was the only one home. Honestly though that was still pretty stupid. Even at my own place I wouldn't shout stupid shit like that unless I knew beyond any doubt it was just us there.
cryssycakesx3 23
if you're old enough to live on your own then it is not ridiculous to sing a song..
junkman6 22
#40 was that sarcasm? I walk around my house buck nekkid singing stupid songs every time I get the chance! I mean isn't that a bonus to living alone?
codyswearingen 3
Hahaha this FML made me laugh
MrSmarts 6
Yup, they'll do that sometimes