Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
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Top comments
Olovio 5
Atleast yoy didn't get a bloody handjob!
Buttsexpirate 9
I guess when you said that you wanted to be the bees knees, they took it the wrong way
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Comments (114)
trellz17 19
Well when people see the furry dice they're gonna think you're a "player, player"
Tyr711 10
Hey, bee positive xD you can still try tap dancing in a beekeepers outfit! Now thats memorable.
xfyre 11
"The land of racecar ya-yas, the land where you can't change lanes. The land where large, fuzzy dice still hang proudly, like testicles from rearview mirrors." a bit of birthday CAKE, anyone?
MeganBieber 0
today is my birthday too! :D
Killerturtle 11
Happy Birthday!
FarSide 23
Well, what were the ******* chances of THAT happening??? WOW! oh about 1/365
blueeyedwolf 10
Stop being an ingrate. It could have been worse.
s3xymoma 1
They remembered !!!!!!;). Should b happy !!
ieatunicorn4fun 7
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you :D
Lidiya8lml 0
sounds like 10 year old to me
EnEl_Infierno 15
A bee keepers suit and fuzzy dice? that badass you can wear it while cruising for chicks, and once they see your fuzzy dice they'll be so turned on they won't notice your wreck of car. Nah.... but you tap dance so you're screwed n the only action you'll be able to get is a bloody job. fyl.
Jimboom 12
Don't bee down, and at least you hive a car. Some people don't even have a sweet ride to go pick up the honeys with. And don't go badmouthing the presents to your friends otherwise you might get stung and get nothing next year.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Be...e p...un...s AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH (brain explodes)