Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, despite working out and training in combat sports routinely as a lifestyle, I continue to have nightmares of those who bullied me in middle school in the past. These people can no longer torture me in real life, but still can in my dreams. FML
Today, It's been two years since I graduated from high school. The people in my grade excluded me from social activities and wouldn't talk to me. I dropped out of college when the same trends ensued and people treated me the same. For now, at 20, I serve drive-thru to people who bullied me, on their way to party. FML
Today, I woke up again from another nightmare about my university's hazing fallout. Every time I see their faces in these dreams, I remember how they got away with everything, including trying to end us as they searched for the first year snitch. FML
Today, I stumbled upon a few of my former uni classmates’ social media profiles, all sharing anti-bullying posts and adding sad comments. Really thoughtful of them, if you ignore the fact that these same classmates bullied me relentlessly during my college years, causing me to take antidepressants daily. FML
Today, It’s been six years since I graduated high school. My peers in my grade never included me socially, and lots talked down on me or behind my back growing up. My self esteem was ruined and I’ve been pushed into dead end jobs; meanwhile lots of my bullies are now travelling and/or successful. FML
Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML
Today, one of my friends got upset with me because I’m leaving our high school. The high school I have been bullied at for the past 3 years. FML
Today, I had my first trauma nightmare, about my classmates who had drugs planted on them so the police officers could abuse them for being queer. It's been 16 years since high school. FML
Today, the person who bullied me throughout my childhood eventually resulting in me going to therapy and switching schools became my boss. On top of that, he refers to me by the insulting nickname he called me during childhood. It's good to see that growing up hasn't changed him at all. FML
Today, I realized that I'm not cut out for school when I flunked out… in my dreams. FML
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Top comments
mif_fml 27
Talking about it to someone you trust will help you and your brain cope with your past experiences. I am sorry for what you are going through.
Garnetshaddow 30
Bullying is a hard experience to go through. Some people just don't understand how much it hurts. Maybe consider going to therapy to cope with the stress? Good luck. I hope you can go back to college and do whatever you want to do.
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Comments (119)
itsme82 18
I hate bullies. I'm so sorry you had to drop out of school. Things must have been bad for you to make that decision. I'm wondering if you suffer panic or anxiety attacks, paranoia, or hyper vigilance. The nightmares make it sound like possible PTSD. I really think you should seek therapy. Trust me I know all to well what the nightmares are like.
nightbirdblue 27
OP, there will always be bullies in life. There will always be assholes and bitches that try to make your life miserable. Running away from the situation completely is never a really good answer because you're letting them win. You're allowing them to completely control your life. You won't ever be happy running away from people like that all the time. You have to learn how to stand up for yourself and to roll with the punches life throws at you. It may be harsh advice, but you have to be able to deal with people like that. It is part of growing up and learning how to act like an adult. Go to therapy, learn how to cope, learn how to be able to stand up for yourself, and go back to school. You wanted to go to college for some reason. You need to follow through and not let people like that affect you that much.
Mynamewontfi 40
Bullying can be really hard to deal with and if it's that bad that you even dream about it, it's a good idea to talk to someone about it. Whether it is someone you know and trust or a therapist. I hope you'll be able to go to school again soon and learn how to stand up for yourself.
annarcheer 19
I'm so sorry op maybe you can transfer to another college even though I know it would be hard but its not your fault people these days are cruel and love to make people feel worse about themselves and just know they're not worth it at all! goodluck
zsaddayz 16
You should press charges against those people. You are entitled to a good learning environment. You shouldn't have to drop out of college because of some assholes. Go to the dean of students and speak to them about it. You can get help from the school. And if they don't help, I'd go to the police. And you might be entitled to reimbursement from the school.
imagineapc 11
If OP willingly dropped their classes, they're not likely to get a refund. College doesn't exactly provide the same sort of hand-held environment as high school, and generally requires students to practice personal responsibility.
mcaisse77 17
Actually, since OP is Australian, college means high school.
False_Stupidity 42
Uh no, in Australia college likely means either a government funded/subsidised college such as TAFE or a private college. We don't refer to high school as college.
ckerane 16
awww hunnie bullys are just cowards . I hope your nightmares stop
uselogicplease 3
when I got sick of being bullied I fought back and that helped me so why don't you fight back by thinking about good things that has happened in your pass that might help with your horrible dreams etc also do online schooling
6pointstuntin 12
wow nutup smdh
uhohitslisa2 20
I was bullied all through school. I still remember everything from grade 1 on. It really does suck. Seriously though, OP, I hope things get better for you.
XBurytheCastleX 25
From experience, the best thing to do is to tell the parents or the police... I ended up with my bully being slapped in the face by her grandmother. It's worth a shot.