Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite working out and training in combat sports routinely as a lifestyle, I continue to have nightmares of those who bullied me in middle school in the past. These people can no longer torture me in real life, but still can in my dreams. FML
Today, It's been two years since I graduated from high school. The people in my grade excluded me from social activities and wouldn't talk to me. I dropped out of college when the same trends ensued and people treated me the same. For now, at 20, I serve drive-thru to people who bullied me, on their way to party. FML
Today, I woke up again from another nightmare about my university's hazing fallout. Every time I see their faces in these dreams, I remember how they got away with everything, including trying to end us as they searched for the first year snitch. FML
Today, I stumbled upon a few of my former uni classmates’ social media profiles, all sharing anti-bullying posts and adding sad comments. Really thoughtful of them, if you ignore the fact that these same classmates bullied me relentlessly during my college years, causing me to take antidepressants daily. FML
Today, It’s been six years since I graduated high school. My peers in my grade never included me socially, and lots talked down on me or behind my back growing up. My self esteem was ruined and I’ve been pushed into dead end jobs; meanwhile lots of my bullies are now travelling and/or successful. FML
Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML
Today, one of my friends got upset with me because I’m leaving our high school. The high school I have been bullied at for the past 3 years. FML
Today, I had my first trauma nightmare, about my classmates who had drugs planted on them so the police officers could abuse them for being queer. It's been 16 years since high school. FML
Today, the person who bullied me throughout my childhood eventually resulting in me going to therapy and switching schools became my boss. On top of that, he refers to me by the insulting nickname he called me during childhood. It's good to see that growing up hasn't changed him at all. FML
Today, I realized that I'm not cut out for school when I flunked out… in my dreams. FML
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Top comments
mif_fml 27
Talking about it to someone you trust will help you and your brain cope with your past experiences. I am sorry for what you are going through.
Garnetshaddow 30
Bullying is a hard experience to go through. Some people just don't understand how much it hurts. Maybe consider going to therapy to cope with the stress? Good luck. I hope you can go back to college and do whatever you want to do.
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Comments (119)
Geckosrock99 33
Reminds me of when I was bullied back in elementry school. There were two of them. They bullied me everyday and adults wouldn't do anything about it because it was verbal. One day, I had enough and I banged their heads together. I got suspended and put on Aderall (ADHD medication) for four years. The bullies left me alone all the way through high school, but now I'm pretty anti-social. Choose the method to get rid of you bullies wisely. It might bite you in the ass later on.
doctorhook86 25
#63: Sorry to hear that; sounds like you got a shit deal from some incompetent administrators.
Geckosrock99 33
Yeah. That school was full of lazy teachers and administers. I was seven and the new kid at the time. This happened a few weeks to a month of transfering into that school. I'm now 21 and it's pretty hard to just be myself. I just shut down and only speak when spoken to.
Chelserser 20
That's really terrible. As a lot of others said, you should try to find someone to confide in. Stay strong OP, you can overcome it.
mine___turtles10 13
I wonder why people think he deserved it
jazzlejay 8
I know how you feel, similar thing happened to me and I suffered with nightmares for years
Divia1 9
You'd think that by college that kind of stuff would ease up as people mature. Some people are just too damaged I suppose. :( I agree with talking to someone, be it a trusted friend/family member or maybe even a therapist. I was bullied horribly when I was younger, to the point someone tried to catch me on fire (charges were pressed). I think about it every now and then and hate being reminded of him but I deal. It definitely shaped the person I became, but instead of letting it destroy me I used it as motivation to go back to school. I'm working on my B. Sc. in Psychology. Work through this, hold tight and later on, use it. *******/dating my bully's best friend years later helped too. lawl. (Hey, nobodys perfect.)
mu89 4
OP, why let others affect the way you feel, or stop from doing something? I'm sorry but I feel like this is a YDI. This isn't worth quitting over. Yes, I know what bullying is like, I took it from kindergarten to Highschool, and from my parents. I just believed that I was stronger than that, as much as they hurt me, I knew nothing they said was true. That I wouldn't accept the shit they said as my reality. You stand up and prove to them and yourself that they're wrong. Quitting is just a way of running away from your problems, one day you will have to face them.
doctorhook86 25
#72: Bullying is harassment, and harassment has be recognized as a criminal offense for decades. Blaming the victim doesn't help anything.
doughdreads 7
Bullies in college?? Do you mean high school?
doumtabarnack 12
Your brain is not a douche. It's trying to make you realize you'll regret forever not staying in college
doctorhook86 25
#76: Bullshit. OP is taking a stress break, but that hardly means that he/she can't go back to education when ready.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Don't ruin your working and economic future by dropping out because of those assholes...
_Maddi_Noelle_ 8
Oh Hun :/