Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
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Top comments
poeticvibez07 0
that's what you get for being so damn cocky
plethora 3
You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".
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Comments (79)
HappyCatIsHappy 0
Ooh! First, or second...
dfvervbthbrgvefc 0
YDI for being ugly
GreenHacker 0
YDI. How is this an FML for you? It's an FML for the trainee. Today was my first day of work at a new job, and some creep tries to hit on me.
chelzy 0
yeah. can I have a job there op? she sounds sexy!
moonlight_daze 8
YDI for thinking you had a chance.
HappyCatIsHappy 0
YDI, tbh, for getting your hopes up about it.
redbluegreen 41
Blue eyes? I'm sold. Not really.
null_fml 11
What if he had red, blue, and green eyes?
brkn_hearted 0
rbg... do colored contacts count too? :D
redbluegreen 41
Icwydt. But a devilish hazel? That could work. Naw, I like your eyes just fine. :3
brkn_hearted 0
aww :D thank you! i try to flash em but most of the time the people i'm fluttering my eyes for ask if i'm okay and if i need to go to the bathroom to wash whatever it is that's in my eye... i always end up going just for the sake of not having to explain what i was doing :P but i know... fail :(
Tungmup 0
HARDEN THE **** UP.
ILIEKGIRLS 5
More like: GET A ******* CLUE
poeticvibez07 0
that's what you get for being so damn cocky
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Sounds to me like they thought he was gay or they wouldve asked a female coworker
alphatoomega 21
Yeah, I was wondering why a girl would ask a guy about attractive males. Focusing on the attractiveness of one's own gender tends to be a female thing.
plethora 3
You flashed your eyes? Can you teach me how to do that? Be handy for finding friends in dark pubs - "Just look for the flashing eyes".
chellinha93 0
HUAHUAHUA at #26
SoreThroat 0
I would think they're trying to mock Count Olaf from A Series of Unfortunate Events. Lmao.
Subal_fml 8
#26: LOL.
moonlight_daze 8
This is quite the burn. It seems to me like those girls were being cruel for the sake of being cruel. Although it is possible you were being creepy in some way. Speaking of which, Plethora raised a good question, how exactly does one flash their eyes?
redbluegreen 41
I'm thinking flashing eyes is where you, uhm, give someone a stunning/piercing glare and blink in a flirtatious manor. Make eye contact, etc. Guys with blue eyes are good with those sort of... looks.
moonlight_daze 8
lol. I have blue eyes.. Or at least I think I do. They're kinda bluish green.
JuuChan 3
That was lovely.
Geist_fml 0
You should have reported this to the boss. The boss does not like ineffective and inefficient trainees to start thinking about hitting on coworkers already. With this you will build your trust with the boss and you might get a juicy raise soon.
brkn_hearted 0
but then he would also probably have to explain how the whole thing got started to begin with.. which was him going up to them first which is worse for a non-trainee since they should know better...
wingedspiritus 0
The OP was the first one to start looking for someone to hit on.
brkn_hearted 0
exactly my point :)
Seegtease 0
But the boss doesn't know that. He was just talking to them, you know, explaining the ropes. They brought up cute guys.
DameGreyWulf 1
It's time to face it; nobody likes you. You are not a person to like. People can not like that which you are. You are perpetually unlikeable.