Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
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Top comments
cupcakechick 17
what a bitch! just Ignore her OP, shes just jealous of your beauty, and is pissed she cant get laid
Pleonasm 36
Ah she's just jealous because she literally IS her own birth control. She's so senile she's probably not getting penile anyway.
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Comments (113)
amy6703 6
You should have went fill a basket with items all over the store, then told her you don't need them when it was time to check out.
rg350dx 29
Is there a duplicate of this FML for anyone else?
titibug823 11
How rude and unprofessional! You should have spoken to her manager.
perdix 31
She's just out of the loop. She doesn't know that ugly is the new hot;)
_DudeGuy_ 16
Wait, ugly is the new hot? Why wasn't I informed :(
perdix 31
Because you often have to inform girls of this new trend. It helps if your presentation is accompanied by generous quantities of alcohol and gifts, and maybe even some cash.
Nomadic1 20
Granny got joke...lol
bodychex 5
Did anyone stop to think maybe she wasn't being rude? She might have been trying to preach abstinence here.
Xalandra 17
Um, that's still rude, it's none of her damn business if OP is having sex or not.
perdix 31
"How am I supposed to make balloon animals with my face?"
Xalandra 17
I hope you reported her to her manager. Then got the store number, her name, and reported her to cooperate (if it's a big chain pharmacy of course) She needs to learn to keep her damn stupid opinions to herself!
marousje 20
And that's when you slapped her in the face, right?!
journeytotheend 16
You should've said "you don't know jack"