Fitness is overrated

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

First impressions

Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

No control over my limbs

Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML

Health is overrated

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

Deez nuts

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

Routine

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

New fangled technology

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML