Today, I went to get my first manicure. While waiting, I looked at the menu board. When I wondered aloud: "I know what a French manicure is, but what on Earth is a Polish change?" The whole place started laughing and I guess I'm not going back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML
Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML
Today, I got my nails done at a salon where everyone working there was Vietnamese. During my manicure, the manicurists talked about how ugly I was in their native tongue. They couldn't have known that I'd lived in Vietnam and I'm fluent in Vietnamese, but too chickenshit to speak up. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I guess you won't be Russian back there until you Czech your pronunciation.
jcash52426 5
Polish change is put REALLY HOT wax on your balls and remove all the hairs. It when they change the color of your nails.
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Comments (22)
FloorX 14
It's kind of funny, though.
jcash52426 5
Polish change is put REALLY HOT wax on your balls and remove all the hairs. It when they change the color of your nails.
ScratchCatPower 32
Well, to be fair, I probably would have done that too.
jay_south 19
Same; my mind went to the polish sausages at Costco.
2011_schuyler 1
I don't see a reason for you to never return. It happens often. Don't worry OP.
2011_schuyler 1
I don't see a reason for you to never return. It happens often. Don't worry OP.
cheshireau 26
Don't be so hard on yourself. You didn't know, it's ok.
cheshireau 26
How do I have up votes? I didn't read it properly. I thought it mean Polish change as in the nail enamel. Not that she said Polish change as in the country. I need down votes for stupidity, please.
RichardPencil 32
I guess you won't be Russian back there until you Czech your pronunciation.
cakefete2 31
Have your up vote and keep the puns coming.
Wisernow 10
It's your learning curve. No worries. I'm still living with pronouncing Canada - "Ca- Nada". oops
maikeru1979 23
don't worry OP...i didn't catch it either..until i was waiting for the comment area to load. then it hit me Polish( as in nail polish) change.
emischeve 12
After reading your comment I realized it was nail polish and not Poland polish. I'm so smart wow.
Sagely 19
Context. You're in a nail salon so it really should have occured to you that it's "polish change" as in nail polish, not "Polish" as in Poland. Nonetheless it's not a big deal that warrants never coming back.
Demon_of_Light 27
Another piece of context is that some other services are named for countries, ie. 'French' manicure. So it's really not so difficult to see why OP's mind went that way.