Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML
Today, I attended a formal dinner with donors to my university. While looking at a much older lady's nametag to see who she was, I was publicly accused of looking at her breasts. Now a bunch of people I was supposed to impress think I'm a pervert. FML
Today, at a philanthropic event in some old money rich family's garden, I told my daughter she'd have to improve her table manners if she wanted to marry a nice man like that. I looked up and our host was standing right there, looking sternly in our direction. I smiled but he didn't smile back. FML
Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML
Today, I got an email from my university informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML
Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML
Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML
Today, I went to a community center event to make friends in a new city. I introduced myself to someone who seemed cool, then realized they were the event organizer who thought I was a volunteer who hadn’t shown up for their shift. They politely asked me to help stack chairs. I spent the night stacking chairs instead of meeting people. Now I’m on the volunteer email list. FML
Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML
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Top comments
lonelyfreak_fml 17
That's crazy talk...
icnburbbygrl 23
Ouch. Hopefully they weren't too mad
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Comments (67)
Mandybruin 15
Is it wrong that I already decided that the OP deserved it when he called himself a schmoozer and decided to introduce himself to "someone important"?
AloysiusWeasley 15
Nope, same here.
davek 36
Madness? This is Sparta!
mkayden 23
We all make mistakes OP, but next time you want to pretend to care about a charity you might want to make sure who or what they support.
tehdarkness 21
That's a weird thing to say anyways. You never know if the person you are talking to has a sense of humor or not. For a self described schmoozer, you are lacking some basic schmoozing skills.
joetxhunk 3
I nearly pissed myself lol
LibertySteak 7
That was a pretty stupid way to say it anyway though, wasn't it?!
pjsmamasan 10
I work in mental health...if you can't laugh a little, you'll go crazy, no pun intended. But considering it was a charity event and a fancy evening, forgetting why you were there have have been your bigger issue :- lesson learned!
havahnegila 22
I would have laughed at that. They have no sense of humor ;) But I also like puns. And for people here w no sense if humor I'm an advocate w those who have mental disorders.... Just know how to laugh too :)
an3ph 20
Madness? This… is… Sparta!
ibanghellokitty 8
I feel bad for those people who have mental disabilities like people make fun of them a lot and it hurts to watch..