Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML
Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML
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Top comments
palmtrees 1
please tell me you left her there.
premiermois 5
Why the FML? You have blackmail. And you should have called her mother right then and there.
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Comments (224)
nodayliketoday 0
#23, blackmailing someone into having sex with you is rape. Besides, why would OP want to have sex with a girl who used him to have sex with someone else? Nasty. FYL, OP. Hope you find a nice girl soon.
avoidthegirl 6
I'd have texted her mom what she was doing, then run over her phone with her car and then disconnected the battery so she'd be freaking out that her car wouldn't start.
stupiidx3 0
FYL. if i was you i would have drove off and took her phone. then text the mom telling her that she stranded at that guy's home !
xoxo9171 0
what a bitch
hope93 0
that sux big time. if she left her phone she prob left her keys so you should drive to her house and tell her mom... but ydi for looking at her phone just because she left it. I would be soo mad if my bf took my phone and looked at my texts just because I left it around... actually I would be mad if anyone looked at my texts without asking otherwise its a dick move. I have a feeling this has an obvious answer but what does op stand for?
Maleficent_fml 0
Hope you forwarded the texts to her mother's phone. FYL, indeed.
Baroness542 6
OP stands for original poster
Baroness542 6
OP stands for original poster (Also - sorry if this posts multiple times, but I "commented too quickly" and my computer glitched and was being stupid. Time for a new computer)
DrunkIrishman 0
Wow, I'm sorry, but that's ridiculously sneaky. Though, if I were you, I would honestly be a prick and tell her mom. That's the best [legal] way I can think of getting back at her. And, yeah, ditch her. Sorry dude.
blehx 0
maybe she didn't mean a 'quickie'. she spelt it 'quicky'. maybe 'quicky' is a duck. or a stuffed toy. i think.
S01iDuS 0
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that she didnt walk out of the house with some stuffed animal lol!