Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML
Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML
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Top comments
palmtrees 1
please tell me you left her there.
premiermois 5
Why the FML? You have blackmail. And you should have called her mother right then and there.
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Comments (224)
Polygon 0
I would just leave.
mattmag 0
A few options: 1) Steal her phone and leave. She'll think she lost it. 2) Sabotage her car. Break the heater or something. Stay put 3) Act like you don't care, then later tell her mom. 4) Put on a gorilla mask and storm into the house to surprise them during sex.
Kenno95 0
lmao step 4 :P
mibs3 11
Must admit I like number 4
hsRoseTyler5 14
Put shrimp in her heater. It will slowly rot and you can't get rid if that smell in a car. There's gotta be a grocery store nearby....
Peg_fml 0
Wow.
THysios 2
even if you shouldn't read other peoples messages, i don't think he deserved it, reading her messages doesn't make her a ****. She was already one.
ohhmysaint 0
XD
kpanchal 0
YDI it for being a nosey sack of shit. I would gone back to the parents house and say she left me at this other dudes house. **** that ****. Not literally... well, maybe.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
honestly that sucks, she shouldnt have left her phone in the car, but you shouldnt have read it eaither. as for the girl: shes an idiot. she shouldve dropped him off so she could have longer sex hahaha ;]
plexico 4
YDI for being too stupid to settle for some Sloppy Seconds.
ziqi92 0
talk about rude....i hope karma got back at her somehow...hey, u did forward the message back to the family right??
C_Wicked27 0
Oh wow FYL, personally I would've ditched her and went back to tell her mom... or even better, you should have just walked in on them and snapped a picture of them in the act and then sent the evidence to her mom and every other contact on her phone.