Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait five years for a rink to open in my town, two weeks for my lessons to begin, but only ten minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
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Top comments
shaniqualee 2
Some friends. If I were you, I would have just faked a seizure and voided my bowels on the ice rink so that I would not only make my friends feel bad, but I would ruin the experience for everyone.
Music_rocks 7
OMG, that's really funny! OP that sucks, hope you laughed though xD
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Comments (90)
Your_Point 0
Its not that hard to learn how to skate (im not talking about like high speed or backwards and crap but just the basic's) but if it was say your first time then i guess i would have to make you slide.
brunoisbeast 0
haha
epicfail13337 4
Hey, it didn't post my comment...FYL
jessica_x3 0
Nice friends.
ragsy 7
My advice: sign up for some private lessons and don't say a word. Next time you all go skating you can shock them by skating beautifully. Living well is the best revenge.
redbluegreen 41
I agree with this.
gotsparkly 0
Yup, and it doesn't take that long either. I took an 8-week group class and went from barely being able to stand to skating backwards at speed in that time.
jbo300 0
if you don't know how to skate but you were far enough to not get back to the door, how did you get out there in the first place? did you just crawl everywhere? I call fake
proud_liberal 0
ppl don't have health care and u submit this? I hope u get cancer and are excluded from obamas healthcare
DameGreyWulf 1
Aw man, why you tryin' to start more political diarrhea? Nobody wants to scroll through everyone's worthless 0.02 cents about nooooothiiiing... Which is a hypocritical thing for me to say, but usually my textwalls are in response to others rather than actually attempting to antagonize.
che_williams 0
makes me wonder how you got so far into the ring that you would have to crawl out. usually if you cant skate you just go round the edge
censorshipoff 0
19, Fmylife.com contains a daily dose of short anecdotes, based on a simple recipe: in a few sentences, users can tell everyone the shitty moment which ruined their day. These short stories must begin with "Today" and end with "FML". On top of being a huge release for the person telling their story, delightfully proving that "**** ups" happen to everybody every day, fmylife.com also aims to be funny for everyone involved, as well as a way to share your misfortunes with other unlucky individuals, bearing in mind that self deprecation and a sense of irony are essential!
littlerock_fml 0
Wow. You take this shit seriously.
ah_09 0
fyl for being left on the ice & Being embarassed in front of everyone, but ydi for going skating when you don`t know how to skate.
Jethro_fml 0
To you and everyone else who made similar comments- how the hell are you supposed to learn to skate if you don't know how? By NOT going skating? Good for the OP for trying, and f*** your friends for leaving you. Jet
DDay35 0
perhaps ah_09 didn't phrase it right, but she deserved it for going out into the middle of the ice (which I'm assuming because if she couldnt make it back around the edge then she is just retarded) while not knowing how to skate. And even if you were only skating for 30mins you should have at least learned enough to slowly glide to the edge, its not very difficult.