Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.
DocBastard 40
Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (214)
Shadowbrea 0
who let the dogs out xP man, I say they shouldn't have taken photos....videos wouldve been much better! xP
Peasanthunter_fml 0
Kneeing the dog in the chest always works. If the dog got you on the ground put it in a head lock and flip it. I hope he used a condom.
athos1237 4
An elbow across the dogs jaw joint and then a fist to the throat would have sent the dog running. Then you grab the phone and and huck it into the nearest body of water.
jayAZ 3
well, you may observe this later...when a man is getting his card aka mancard revoked many will not intervene...cause to do so would ruin the chance of man redeeming self and keeping said man card. Son, you've probably lost it before today you just decided to post about it.
ThaSoke 0
I would of hit the dog with a rock n beat the shit out of the owner.
strikeeagle 3
You should have grabbed the danes head and pushed your fingers into his eyes, then when it lay there wimpering and crying you grab the head and snap the neck in a quick motion, or you just break its legs. I hate dogs. Great danes look so ******* ugly
NavyAvi 0
your girlfriend sucks fyl
WankersCramp 0
happened to me once, in preschool. I share your pain
SpilltMilk2 0
Scooby just had a 'rograsm!'
CrazyChikklet 5
LMFAOO