Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Stashed
Today, after my aunt died and left me everything, I found my heroin addict brother searching my house, demanding his share of the money. He thought I had it in cash, so I called the cops. Now our mom is mad at me because a good brother would have given him something. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
ADMIT IT!
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML
Check yourself
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
One-upmanship championship
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, I texted my brother saying, "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he replied, "You better not be doing drugs." FML
Tone police
Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML
Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML
Top comments
idkweird 0
Wait, so....F your life because you were born addicted to heroin and havent touched any type of drug since that time? Obviously, it didn't affect you all that badly. Two of my cousins were born the same way and have had learning disabilities because of it. What did it do to you??
quinnteh 0
Uh wait, are you saying it's NOT a good thing to not have done drugs? Loser.
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Comments (56)
loveeisnott 0
YEEEAHHH CONNECTICUT
ArtistsSunshine2 0
I was born with drugs in my system and I turned out alright..I have a culinary degree and I'm working at Spago as a line cook!
loveyahun 0
I used to have a prob too. I overdosed once on Tylenol, twice on advil, and loads on ibueprophine(or however the hell you spell it. Ibuepeophine was like meth for me. I couldn't give it up and ended up taking a lot from my friend. When she found out, she made me flush them down the toilet and hid the meds everytime I went over to her house. I used to shake and start getting itches everywhere everytime she did this, but thanks to her, I'm all better now. So everyone who is born addicted, I'm sorry, I truly am. It sucks. But everyone talking shit about those who have a problem with any kinds of drugs, **** off because you obviously don't know shit about what it's like to be addicted.
yupitssoph 18
Ibuprofen?? Ibuprofen is an over the counter pain medication it's next to impossible to overdose on it.
energyphuck 0
@ Loveyahun...stfu. who the hell gets addicted to frekkin Tylenol?
CallMeHush 1
Lightweights.
dispatcher 0
loveyahun, you are a douche bag..who the **** gets addicted to tylenol and ibuprofen??? you werent addicted to shit you just wanted attention..grow up loser!
loveyahun 0
everyone step off. I didn't get addicted to Tylenol, I overdosed on it and almost died. I'm not going to start a stupid Internet fight with you dickheads. Have a nice night.
poopehdoo 9
I'm sorry about these dickheads. Addiction is a very complicated thing, and we all react differently to different substances. Live compassionately x
loveyahun 0
BTW ibuprophine is addicting. So all you dockheads who think you know shi, come here to Az and say to my face that it didn't happen. Then do the same to my friend. Goodnight.
chabz_fml 0
ibuprofen is not addictive. stop being an idiot. you wanted attention, so you're pretending you've been addicted to advil and tylenol. i know people who've quit coke and X with less bitching then ur whiney ass.
Mustardnight 3
Good for them.
kornonthecobb 0
when i was going out with my first ex bf i ended up getting addicted to pot really bad and i took nearly a month and a half to go through withdrawel and stop feeling like i needed the drug it was really scary
MagicMeds 0
Cool story...
chabz_fml 0
pot is not addictive. stop being an attention *****. unless it was laced, you should not have any problems quitting.
kornonthecobb 0
it was laced with chemicals that was the type my ex prefered so he would always get it that way idk what it was laced with though
Ilurveunderoath 0
It's true! Marijuana is less addictive and less dangerous than CAFFEINE! In fact, it is impossible to kill yourself from marijuana overdose. Deaths from smoking pot are only caused by the smoke and the phony "War On Drugs" in which resistors are shot by law enforcement.
no__namer 0
@78, actually, they did a study. to OD on pot, an average person would have to smoke 2.4 or so tons of it in 14 minutes, which is humanly impossible. but i agree. people treat pot like it's meth. it's ******* ignorance it is.
fightingkittens 39
My words exactly, 79. I live in California, where the bill to legalize pot for recreational use was shot down. Not that I'm a registered voter (5 more years!) but that law should have been passed. Our state is broke, they can tax the hell out of marijuana because even if you can't OD, you can sure as hell get addicted and will buy it at all costs. It would have also saved money for the state because there wouldn't be pot addicts crowding the jail cells. But apparently, pot is meth.
Divine_Mamma 11
Pots not addictive...
Connkidd 0
at least u kicked it!;)
LadyDraigen 3
Oh wow. Ibuprofen is not addicting. I took it daily for years, anywhere between 800-3200 miligrams a day. Then I had to stop taking them. There was no addiction, no withdrawl. My pain level increased, since I wasn't on antiinflamatories (which is all ibuprofen is) anymore but thats it. And since you are confused, Advil IS ibuprofen. You don't get a buzz off of OTC pain relievers, unless you live in Canada where you can get Codeine. If you OD'd it was out of pure stupidity not because you were an addict. Ok, so maybe you had an emotional addiction, which is covered under stupidity since we're talking about Tylenol and Advil. True addicts simply cannot physically function without their DOC, which is why they will go to such lengths to get it. Its not like you can't pick up the generic version for like, 3 dollars at walmart for a bottle of about 200. And addicted to Pot? Come on people. Pot isn't addictive, but you will likely miss feeling high. I've known a lot of potheads in my life, many of whom quit cold turkey. No DTs, no withdrawl. They got bored, because sitting on the couch stuffing their face in front of the TV just wasn't as entertaining when they weren't stoned. Try to sell that shit to someone with a real addiction, like amphetamines or opiates, and they will either laugh at you or smack you straight upside the head.