Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning up after my mom visited with her dogs. She'd left a little pill jar on the kitchen counter. Had she forgotten her medicine? It made a weird, soft sound when I shaked it. I opened the lid to shake some pills into my hand, only it wasn't pills. It was two fat ticks. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_DANTE_ 0
Who chugs a random glass of water lying on their sink in the first place? Gross.
Jupi_fml 2
I want to say you deserve it for not paying attention, but I don't think anyone really TRULY deserves to gulp that down, unknowingly or not.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
palmtrees 1
Apparently, the majority of people who go on this website grab things that have been lying around their house and eat/drink them without the slightest glance to see what they're actually consuming. Learn from each other, people, this is NOT a good idea.
redbluegreen 41
Agreed. I've learned so much from FML. No joke. Anyone who's been on the site is bound to learn something or another.
aback 5
At least now you'll make the extra effort to draw a fresh glass of water instead of tossing back any random glass of what-is-it.
hjjl 0
I would be more upset at drinking vinegar and soap then bugs. Also I would smell the vinegar and soap, both of those things tend to have a strong smell... or see the bugs on top.
Gahhreg 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=6756
lolhaha118118 0
wtf
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for thinking about Clay Aiken and not watching what you were drinking.
gtjuanpablo_fml 0
Test
gtjuanpablo_fml 0
Test
fretforyerlatte 0
terrifying, isn't it?
jgupta86 0
Why would you not just get an empty glass, and fill it with fresh water?