Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML
Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML
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Top comments
shippingboat 8
So there was not, in fact, a snake in your boot?
lemonypops 10
How messed up do shoelaces have to be to look like a snake?
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Comments (61)
lexiieeex3 32
Shoelaces are rather skinny to be a snake, no?
VeganVampyre 27
Well, the snakes in Nova Scotia are pretty small, some are only as big around as your pinky finger or so... And maybe OP's boots had slightly thicker laces than your average sneaker. I could see it happening. The part I don't get is being that scared of a snake that small and completely harmless...
cottoncandymango 17
I was just about to get excited at the fact that there may have been a snake in your boot (because Toy Story), but nope. That damn shoelace of yours!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
If you ran like hell hounds were after you because of what you thought was a shoelace-sized snake, what the hell are you doing out in the country?!
r1r1h2 11
Dean disapproves of OP's cowardice, hell hounds are actually scary shit.
Lexipants 21
You're in Nova Scotia. Snakes aren't exactly terrifying in the Maritimes.
VeganVampyre 27
You're totally right. I understand that a lot of people are afraid of snakes, but none of the snakes here in Nova Scotia are remotely dangerous so it's really not worth risking injury running to avoid one. If it was somewhere that had rattlers or anacondas I'd get it, but garter snakes are tiny, non venomous, and quite shy. They're not going to attack, they're going to avoid you. OP could have just stayed put and all the snake would have done would be to continue on its way to safety.
gallifreyanqueen 10
Phobias aren't exactly rational. I've never been stung and don't think I'm allergic, yet I freeze up any time a bee or wasp flies by.
VeganVampyre 27
That is very true... If OP has a phobia of snakes then their reaction would make perfect sense. Wasn't thinking of phobias when I posted my previous comment...
iwanttogotoparis 26
Ah yes... The outside world
LlamaFlavoured 24
At least you were alone so no one saw.
91hayek 31
Should have gone to ssssssspecsssssssaverssssssss.
Smooth_Criminal 24
no more shoelaces for you. may I suggest the sneakers with the velcro?
Neekovolwf 22
You have a very active imagination
Aspen_Grace33 27
There's a snake in my b.... Oh wait, false alarm!!!