Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I finally convinced my shy new cat to come out from under the bed and hang out with me on the couch. I felt like a true cat whisperer until, in the middle of petting her, she jumped up, knocked over my mug, and spilled hot cocoa all over my book. She then looked at me as if I was the one who messed up. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML
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Top comments
amyrules99 7
What kind of cat doesn't want a cup of tea?!?!
gTOtheT 7
Yeah I hate it when I overdose and my cat won't take my tea. So rude.
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Comments (188)
perdix 31
Cat's got your cat's tongue?
yuggi1 11
For some reason I read this as you offering your cat tea and the cat peeing on you.
ILoveFluttershy 3
Wait, so it's NOT normal to offer tea to your cat? ( ._.)
kevin1873 1
I'm going to take a pretty good educated guess and say you're a girl and this would have happened to you even without the overdose ;-)
bananagrams 9
Something makes me think that wasn't a very educated guess
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Why does OP have to be a girl...?
dixiefoxx 22
Do you think any girl would do that in her right mind..? I know a few guys that would probably do the same thing as OP without an overdose.
isis_morrigan 18
Obviously not a good educated guess since all you did was make unfounded assumptions.
kaileylovesyew 4
Thats not an educated guess. Thats u being a sexist bastard!!!!
cptmorgan6 8
Don't lie OP. We all know you didnt overdose on anything. You're just a crazy cat lady who talks to her cats and gets upset when all 36 of them don't respond.
JoeParris 1
39 1/2 cats ok get it right
HerrBawl 4
Should've offered catnip or mint tea.
zojieeu 6
Your brain is totally FXXXed up :D
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You're allowed to curse on here, you know. Watch this! **** **** fuckity **** ****. See. No repercussions.
HerrBawl 4
Nay nay! Your repercussion is getting thumbed up.
wereturtle 1
My cat does the SAME thing.... Where is this world headed to?
nerdsgetmehot 23
Too many antihistamines can make you do crazy things.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Just saying because I know from experience. I took 2 antihistamine pills once instead of 1 (as the box recommended) and started feeling quite fuzzy and like I was floating on the inside.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#82 I have pretty much no friends, so yeah, I have no life and rarely ever get out except for going to work...
SkoomaKi 28
#86 - I will be your friend ^.^ Friendship FTW
zandalee 20
Get out more then girl! Your young & pretty & should be having a ball. Seize the day!!
brandon3747 16
I did that with my dog once but I was serious and he didn't reply but I kept offering.... HIM A BONE