Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, while at the mall, I was traveling up the escalator on my way to the food court. When I neared the top, the handrail severely shocked me, causing me to drop a bag of China I had just bought, which fell to the bottom of the escalator and shattered. FML
Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML
Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
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Top comments
Imawhalerider 0
Girls don't usually get that defensive of their bf's. FYL
akalisser 0
I'd slap the chick back.
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Comments (107)
AloysiusWeasley 15
So, did you grab her hair and punch her face in? Well?
englishmuffin 0
Wow, that girl knows how to defend her territory. But seriously, don't malls have elevators? Don't wear shoes you aren't comfortable in if you're going to be walking around a lot. Just bring a change of shoes if you have to go somewhere fancy afterwards. For that reason, YDI. To be fair, I've worn uncomfortable heels and mentally bitched about it many times, but I admit that each time, I absolutely deserved to be in pain.
chanman 0
Most people don't use elevators in malls because they're often out of the way in some hidden hallway or nook/cranny. They're purposely designed that way so you look at store fronts as much as possible. That's in the USA. In a lot of other countries (especially Asia, I've found), malls are many-storied because space is limited, so there's a glass-walled elevator right in the middle or something like that.
Paige_Nicole10 0
sure are a good bit of fml's goin around about people grabbing things when they fall, i didnt realize this was such a big problem, wether it be a part another persons anatomy, or fencing.
FreeLevi 0
fake
DutchGunner21 0
Oh yeah, OF COURSE that is what happened. Learn to fight your urges, or at least make sure there is no girlfriend around next time. Oh and no. 15, nice pun ;)
Nightfallz 0
ydi. don't wear uncomfortable heels
Zeepbot 0
Yeah, why wear shoes that hurt you? (even if you did wear them in).. Women really are stupid for doing these things. Wear COMFORTABLE!
Protegas 0
Way to generalize :P Not all women wear heals. Or uncomfortable ones, at least.
uj_fml 4
Once again, why do girls think it's okay to slap people?
musu_fml 0
I've never understood that myself. It's still assault, whatever gender it comes from.
cactus_fml 0
Give her a break guys, people wear uncomfortable stuff all the time because they like how it looks. People also wear heals to the mall all the time. It's not like the only place you can wear heels is some romantic formal dinner in Italy or something.
letitbe56 0
Yeah, but have you ever seen a girl wearing heels that are clearly too tall or too uncomfortable for her? It's not sexy. No matter how cute the shoes are, you don't look good if you can't manage yourself in them.
Ranoona 0
Slap her back.