Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML
Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML
Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML
Today, I got congratulations at work for being "so focused" and "not spending time on my phone." I didn't have the heart to tell my manager I don't spend time on my phone because I have no friends to talk to. FML
Today, I played The Sims just so I'd know what it was like to live alone, own a home, and have a well-paying job that didn't slowly kill me from the inside out. It was the happiest I've been in months. FML
Today, the reality of how shattered my mental health is truly hit me when I spent ten minutes crying after a bot beat me at a card game. FML
Today, I've been so anxious that I downloaded a crossword app to try to focus. You get stars whenever you complete a puzzle, either 1, 2, or 3. I'm now up to 400 stars and placed first in a competition I didn't even know I was participating in. I'm still anxious. FML
Today, I realised just how lonely I am. After using Tinder for about a week, I got my first match. I said hi while I was in class since I was excited, but by the time I'd gotten back home, she'd unmatched me. I've never felt so hurt by a complete stranger before. FML
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
Today, I was finally alone for the first time in a year. I thought I'd go to a restaurant, but ended up getting there before they opened. While waiting, I listened to music, only to end up crying for several minutes because I haven't had a girlfriend since 2010, and never will again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Uramonkey 11
Who needs friends when you have solitaire!
DudeEvil 22
Or both!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
purebliss_fml 19
As long as it isn't taking over your life... You could try stepping away from the computer. Go out into the real world, join some groups and make some friends if you feel alone.
Dracoboxer357 36
14- Agreed. Op, You decide your level of social involvement with others! Don't like where it's at? Be proactive and Change it, don't come looking for pity here. :p
oxygenius 14
Doesn't feel that great to live in solitary, eh? ;)
darwinism 30
Heads up OP, it is still an achievement. Try getting a new high score to spice things up! Play your cards right and someone will come along eventually.
perdix 31
Don't try Freecell! Once you learn that virtually all games are winnable, when you get stuck you'll keep restarting the hand over and over again until you solve it. It can descend into madness. Definitely don't try Blue Waffle Freecell.
Dracoboxer357 36
17- ?!? Wtf, Perdix ?!? Even with a card game, if it's not blue waffles, it's cleveland steamers, blumpkins, squat-birthing in public, sodomy, or getting your salad tossed with you!!! Come here, you dirty old man! This is for your own good!! *Tackles you to the ground and washes the filth out of your mouth!* Bad, Perdix! Bad! ;)
perdix 31
#21, the point I was trying to make is that when you tell someone not to do something, they do it! Oftentimes, after ignoring the advice about not looking at the Blue Waffle, people start to appreciate the idea of Purposeful Ignorance. BTW, I only keep cupcake-flavored soap around, so "bring it on!"
Dracoboxer357 36
27- Well then, it seems your conditioning is working, because the first time I saw a blue waffle was just over a year ago when you again advised against it. :p Lost a lot of that curiousity since then, thank you very much. (Damn evil genius, I never would have guessed.... ;P
perdix 31
Aw, I'll be your friend. Someone just pointed out to me that I've hit 20,000 comments. We both need to get a life!
Dracoboxer357 36
20- Congratulations, dirty old man. ;)
Enslaved 38
Dracoboxer, perdix is probably off somewhere listening to his Laura Branigan album. :P
perdix 31
#25 "If everybody wants you, Why isn't anybody calling?" *weeps* You know me too well!
buddy51 23
"Today, I realized was posting my 1000th FML about how I was wasting my life playing 1000 games of Solitaire.... FML!!!?
DudeEvil 22
Or both!
Uramonkey 11
He could have failed it for all we know. Failing is still considered completion by many games.
joyce71 5
it sounds like you may need to get out a bit more
mssmell 10
Do the cards still do the waterfall thing on the phone version? That'd be cool to see 1000 times.