Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML
Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML
Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML
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Top comments
robertlovespi 3
Blame your clumsiness on the horses? Really?
TheCoNofGamer 1
Look at my horse, my horse is amazing.
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Comments (141)
robertlovespi 3
Blame your clumsiness on the horses? Really?
HatefulPilot 0
This man is a fellow pilot. OP, why were you on the ground anyways? I'm only on the ground if I get threatened with court-martial or if my wife says that dinner is ready.
Zya_fml 8
The horses didn't do anything :(
rahavan 15
My question is why isn't the wife helping him? Or she one of those broads that has never work an honest day in her life? Seriously OP if you are on a ladder another person should ALWAYS be with you in case of falling. People these days have no common sense.
jennyvieve 8
I think his hating of horses is unrelated to this incident..
jmad29 2
He's pointing out the irony
gojira666 7
You should probably add ladders to the list of things you hate.
Jonkbaby 23
tell your wife it you lost the horse
memob123 0
He probably didn't like horses before he fell
TheCoNofGamer 1
Look at my horse, my horse is amazing.
benderbot19 0
Tastes just like raisins!
japtch 15
Yeah sweet lemonade.
Iskaria 0
^^ awesome
XmyviolentheartX 13
Shut up woman get on my horse! Lol.
Wreckless_fml 6
Uhhh that's dirty!
horneyhic 15
I named my horse Elmer
TheSuperSpicer 6
Give it a lick, mmmm(;
slients_1234 0
With the stroke of its mane it turns in to a plane!
raydaly 5
y'all can ride ma horse any day ;)
Torva_fml 16
Shut up, perverts.
Palirose 22
78 I thought it was "it turns into a flame" o.0
Dave_Davington 34
Why's it purple? Custom stylings. A ballsack looks fresh with a two tone paint job don't you know?
gunmania0 12
Your wife seems like she rides horses more than she rides you! And horses piss and shit everywhere, so yeah I can see why you hate horses...
cosmosis 12
Op never said anything about his wife riding the horses or anything remotely related to sex. Dumbass
ProhibitionRose 14
...what? How did you come to the conclussion that she rides horses more than op?
bakbak_fml 1
I feel like every animal piss and shit everywhere.
Qwrty_fml 0
Your stupid, horses are amazing animals
TheStunner 0
Calm down. It's not the clueless animals fault for your clumsiness. Just have a beer, sit in your chair and relax.
YourBuddyElmo 5
Ah yes, there's nothin I like to do more after a few broken ribs than sit down and "relax"...lame comment.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
If you can afford a horse why can't you afford someone to build a shelter for it?
FollowMe 2
Wife's horse.
yumlicious 4
The OP also can afford a plane. I'm sure he can afford to have someone to build him a shed. And last time I checked spouses share financial responsibilities for things. Or maybe I'm wrong. IDK. We own horses, and my parents have both share financial responsibility for them.
ProhibitionRose 14
Maybe because horses are expensive and they spend all of their money on feeding it, vet bills, etc that they have no money left over to hire someone to do something that OP could easily do himself if he weren't clumsy...
teague95 16
50- just because OP is a pilot doesn't mean he owns his own plane. Could be a pilot for a company or in the military. Maybe he also likes doing things himself then hiring people to do it.
yumlicious 4
His name is Cessna Pilot. IDK. I just assumed that he owned one. My father owns a Baron and is subscribed to the American Bonanza Society and wears their apparel. So *shrug*
teague95 16
Who cares? Stop trying to brag.
Spinnmaster 1
You sure did try to take a Crack at that shelter... Terrible pun intended, I know the drill.. Thumbs down
jennyvieve 8
If you're trying reverse psychology it's not going to work..
boofgall 16
Yes, but my comment will.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Perhaps we should stop spending so much time on "shitty situations" and invest in real, funny pun making.
DangDatSux 0
The horse is a beautiful animal naw but maybe you need better balance
rubberduckie94 13
but sometimes when your laying in the hay and all the poop the horse will walk up and look down at you. then maybe he will touch his nose to you and you'll think to your self horses arent so bad, maybe i was to hard on them.
rubberduckie94 13
you have to read it in cleavlands voice. LOL. i was playing off the comment above me
Capt_Oblivious 10
All I'm seeing here is a "blah blah, I'm a clumsy asshole that blames an animal for my stupidity"
anna15243 6
same here
sombitch 1
He's not blaming the animal for falling. He's remarking on the irony of falling while building a shelter for an animal he doesn't like.
number1beaner 0
I think your hate is misplaced maybe you should be mad at ladders
ibestef 1
I think what the OP is trying to say is that even though he hates horses he tried building cover for his wife's horse which resulted in him getting injured.
NotDave 0
This is what I'd assumed. Everyone else seemed to come to a really stupid conclusion, though.
Ins0mau 20
65 - It's 'cause this site/app is full of 12 year olds who generally come up with stupid conclusions.