Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML
Today, I received a call from a top-rated university accepting me into the program of my dreams to begin my ultimate career. Two weeks ago, I accepted a permanent, full time and legally-binding job position in my depressive hometown because the school had previously rejected me. FML
Today, I finally got an offer for a salaried position with the company I've been working for as a contractor for the past two years. They offered less than what I make now, but hey, benefits! FML
Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML
Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML
Today, I got a better job offer out of the blue, more pay, less work. I informally accepted and handed my notice as legally required. They rescinded the job offer. I'm now unemployed at the end of hiring season. FML
Today, after quitting my job to take a very attractive position with a competitor, I was told the position was no longer being offered. I'm now on my way to file for unemployment. FML
Today, I finally got the call from HR telling me I passed the interview and will get a permanent position, doing the same job I already do. Then they continued to say that if I accept, my pay will be cut to match “other employees pay”. I barely make it on what they are paying me now. I also have a Master's degree. FML
Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML
Today, my company decided to give me a second role, since I’m "the best performing candidate.” When I turned it down, they asked me to work half-time instead. I quit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hahahapunk 0
does the marginal benefit exceed the marginal cost?
allmidnighteyes 11
STOP SIGN. REFLECTIVE VEST. Why the hell not? You can do like, awesome little dances, and tell the kids, "Don't stop!" as they're crossing the road, and only hope a passerby will cry out, "BELIEEEVIN'!" Orrrr, you can be one of THOSE crossing guards, and spank kids with the stop sign when they're being naughty naughtyyy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
13million 0
All i got to say a lot of you have no idea about going to a good college and choosing majors. I go to an Ivy League and am a economics major that you all blast me for. I am a senior and I will be working in Wall Street next year. If you knew anything about recruiting, you know that majors don't matter at all. They're nothing. You do what you want in college because you like it. You gain various skills pertaining to it and then for the summer you intern at places you want to work at. All the recruiters look at is your work experience and extracurriculars. Majors aren't shit. And seriously, do you guys even know what it means to go a top 20 school? We worked our asses off in high school to get here and I'm sorry but hard work and brains definitely entitles us to a better job. That is the whole purpose of going to a good school. Tell me why basically every corporate executive was dumb enough to be from Top 20? Why is president Obama from my school and not from some stupid community college. There is a reason and that reason is the people you meet and the access to opportunity that you have. To the OP, **** the haters. They have no idea how top colleges work. It's tough right now, but keep looking and try to use your alumni network. Networking with school alums is a good way to start. They're eager to help to you out or at the least give you info. In addition, use your school career center. The situation sucks, but if u got into emory you're pretty smart. Keep looking and think of internships that can help you boost your resume and gain the attentions of a recruiter. That said good luck
fallenmerc 0
Why can't you just say you're from Harvard...? Why can't the OP just tell us which university he attended?
martic835 2
He's obviously a very pretentious man. To the OP: I rather be a crossing guard than a dick head!
st0815 9
#136: Just take a job as a crossing guard and you can be both!
iFruit 0
I would have done it. Biaaatttcchhh
some_girl9 8
YDI for being "too good" to accept a job because you graduated from some fancy place. Enjoy your unemployment while some "lowly" uneducated person takes the job and makes more money than you.
clxjames 0
ydi for thinking a degree entitles you to a good job
Pir8ninja 0
This is why trades are better. Lol.
Mr_Donkey 0
Money isn't everything. Enjoy.
Allstarr23 1
then why would you apply for it? The school just didn't pick your name out of a hat and say "this person looks like they would make a good crossing guard." YDI and I don't believe you.
boatkicker 5
They probably applied to some other job and then was told "No sorry, we've already filled that position, but we have this crossing guard position open that you'd be perfect for."
Vertas 10
I feel your pain. I Have a degree in Computer Network Administration and ended up working in a factory where the most computerized thing i used was a calender on the screen. Gets better though. Besides money is money until the good job comes along.
sickenedwinter86 0
Have some humility! There are many people out there that wouldn't think twice about taking it. Should have taken it and kept lookig...
Hiawassee 9
Nobody ever gets a great job just because they spent a shit ton on college . You are highly skilled, but not everyone is looking for you . You should have accepted the job and then quit it when you found a job up to your standards .